Nikias rested his head against hers, eyes fluttering shut again. As he did so he murmured, “Will you…”
But Nikias didn’t finish the sentence. However, his hand was still moving across her back, so she knew he hadn’t fallen asleep. Aimilia looked up at him. “Will I what?”
Nikias’ cheeks flushed pink, and he didn’t say anything. But then she felt his fingers find the end of her braid, and they started gently twisting the hair at the end of it.
Aimilia reached up and gently began to run her fingers through his hair, being careful to painlessly work out any of the knots she found. So he had been awake before, at least enoughto notice what Aimilia had been doing. It was almost enough to make her blush that she had been caught. But she felt Nikias curl in even tighter, shifting his head to hide his expression from her completely.
Aimilia was struck. Was that why he thought she was Faustina? Because that was the only person who had ever shown him any kind of tender affection like this? So much so that he couldn’t even bring himself to ask for it? Certainly, he hadn’t received it from his parents.
His grip on her tightened as she gently dragged her fingers across his scalp. Aimilia didn’t know what she would do if Nikias woke up and realized it had been her and not a dream. If he couldn’t even bring himself to ask for something as simple and innocently affectionate as this, even when he thought she was his beloved wife, how humiliated would he be when he woke up and realized it was her?
He certainly would never ask this of her. Probably because he knew what the answer would be.
Although, maybe that wasn’t a given, considering how easily she had acquiesced. The fact that she had done it of her own volition mere hours before… Would this be what it would be like to be married to Nikias?
Always living with Faustina’s ghost? Any affection there might be, overshadowed by what Nikias had lost? Someone who wanted her, but didn’t really need her. Was it enough to be wanted?
If this was what it was like to be wanted… Aimilia didn’t know. She was resolved to pull away once Nikias was fast asleep, to save them both the embarrassment that would happen when he woke up and realized who it was that he was holding, not to mention to spare them the scandal the gossiping guards would create if Aimilia stayed all night. They would be able to pretend it had never happened. Nikias would be spared anyembarrassment, and Aimilia could forget what it was like to hold him so tenderly.
But that moment didn’t come. Aimilia couldn’t drag herself out of his arms.
She didn’t know exactly how long she’d been asleep, only that it was sometime later in the night, when Nikias shifted beneath her and she heard a sharp, panicked breath. Then the hum of vitae filled the air. Aimilia lifted her head from Nikias’ shoulder and blinked as the vitae blinding her faded. She sat up to see Nikias had pulled out from under her; he had one hand grabbing the blanket between them that had fallen to his waist, exposing his torso. Most of his torso was hidden beneath the bandages wrapped around his side from the wound he’d acquired earlier.
Aimilia blinked in the darkness. The strange thing was, she couldn’t make out any scars.
Nikias cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Heat flooded her cheeks at having been caught openly staring at his torso as he shifted the blanket up.
Aimilia sat back and said, “I… I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I… Well, it doesn’t really matter now.”
“I’m glad you were here.”
Aimilia could feel where he was going, about to ask why exactly she was there, so she blurted out, “Where are your scars?”
Nikias’ eyes widened as he lifted the blanket even higher to his chest. His voice darkened. “What are you talking about?”
Aimilia shifted back. “I just mean… I assumed… Hypatia. I assumed there were scars.”
Nikias took a deep breath. “Oh. Well, as you can see, no scars.”
“Then what did she do to you?”
“Like many things, it’s better left in the past. It has no bearing on the future now.”
Aimilia didn’t really understand what he meant, but she supposed the situation was already painful and awkward enough. Better to go before any more damage was done.
“Well, I should let you get some actual rest, and not keep crushing you.”
“I don’t mind, really.” Nikias’ eyes darted down and his grip on the blanket tightened. His voice softened. “Must I ask?”
Aimilia didn’t really know what to do with the fact that even though he clearly knew it was her now he was still asking her to stay.
So she stayed.
When she didn’t move, Nikias shifted closer and asked, “What happened?”
Aimilia gave him a quick rundown of the facts, making camp where they were and finding a Stonai as well as the fact that she sent word to Hypatia and Konstantin about the attack.
