“I think she’s realized she’s wet and hungry,” Nicholas said.“I don’t know which is most urgent.”He turned to the gaping maid.“Can you change her?”
“Yes, sir,” she said tearfully, bobbing an anxious curtsy.“I’m sorry, sir.I didn’t want to do anything without permission, sir.”
“Yes, it’s all right,” he soothed.“Just do the necessary and then bring the baby to my wife.”
He shook his head and smiled at Amy, who was looking quite as astonished as the maid.He turned as Francis came back into the nursery.“Why don’t you take Amy downstairs and entertain her and Peter for me?”
“Are you sure Arabel’s all right?”Eleanor demanded.
“Yes.The girl will bring her in a minute.”
“I feel so stupid!Why wouldn’t she quiet for me?I’ve let the nursery maid do everything except feed and cuddle her.”She glared at him resentfully.“How is it you know what to do?”
“It’s part of my story,” he said, but added no more.“I’d better go down and see to our guests.I’ll come back later, if I may.”
“Am I supposed to say you can’t?”Eleanor snapped.“I wish you would stop being so damned reasonable!”To her horror, she broke into tears.
After a moment he came and put comforting arms around her.“Eleanor, I’m just doing my best.”
Through her tears she heard the note of desperation in his voice.
“Everyone seems to think I’m omnipotent,” he added quietly.“I make just as many stupid mistakes as everyone else, and sometimes on a grander scale.”
It was true, she supposed.Even as a schoolboy everyone had expected him to lead them and solve their problems, ease their fears and bolster their confidence.No, even before that.He’d had his brother at his heels since birth.
Was that all she was, another burden?She couldn’t bear it if he had returned to her out of simple duty.
“I’m sorry,” she said and grabbed for her handkerchief.“I don’t know what’s come over me.I’m turning into a watering pot.”
“You’re a new mother.That’s why I’m not making explanations or forcing you into decisions.You really aren’t up to it yet, my dear.”He kissed her brow gently and took away the support of his arms.Eleanor successfully stifled a protest.
“Just remember,” he said with a tender smile, “there are many people, not least of them myself, who only want your happiness.”
Eleanor thought his parting words sounded like a hollow joke.What happiness?She wanted to be young, virginal, in love, and wooed.Spilt milk indeed.
Later, as Jenny brushed out her hair and helped her to wash, they chatted about the evening’s disaster and how Nicholas had handled things.
“Poor man,” said the maid with a chuckle.“Having to look after the babe with all of you at a loss.He must have been right put out.”
Eleanor thought of it with surprise.He’d seemed in control, but perhaps he had been as upset as the rest of them.
“What a strange group we are,” she remarked.“The only one who knows anything about children is a man, and not the most domesticated man at that.”
“Begging your pardon, ma’am, but I know about babes.I’m the oldest of ten, eight living.Can I help?”
So Jenny became the baby’s nurse until a new one could be hired.
Chapter 15
The next day Eleanor declared herself to be recovered and insisted on leaving her bed and moving about on her own two feet.As no disaster resulted, her eccentricity was accepted.She even went with Amy for a slow walk around the frosty gardens and checked carefully that the clamps of potatoes and carrots were being properly managed.
“You like this country life, don’t you?”said Amy.
“Yes, I do.There are real things to do and people who need help.People there to offer help when it’s needed, too.Town life is so artificial.”
“Will you live here then?”asked Amy, and then colored when she realized this was coming close to matters not yet clarified.
“Oh, yes,” said Eleanor calmly, ignoring the other woman’s alarm.“I think so.What better place to raise a child?”
