“I don’t know about that, I’m pretty worried.” I closed my eyes and leaned against the desk. From the other side of the door, a cackling laugh cut through the music.
Tyler tugged at my shirt. “Look at me.” And then another tug, when I didn’t. “Mark, look at me.” I opened my eyes. “I’m so happy to see you. I just wanted tonight to be fun.”
“I wanted that, too.”
He placed a hand on either side of my face, holding it like a book, or a prayer.
“Then let’s have fun.” He kissed me, the cigarette fresh on his breath. He pulled away, smiling. “It’s not so bad.”
I smiled back, despite myself. “It’s not.” And maybe he was right, I was freaking out over what? We were in Columbus, we weren’t even on a campus.
“Check it out.” On the floor, beside the desk, a bottle of wine. “Those girls must have forgotten it.” He took a long swig and coughed. “Wow that’s sweet, even for me.” He passed me the bottle. The pink label had a drawing of a cat—I felt a quick pang; Safie had once saidnever drink wine with an animal on it.I tipped it back—it was almost painfully sweet—and then drank again.
Tyler laughed. “So you’re not mad.”
“I’m not mad.” I reached around and grabbed his ass, pulling him to me. “I missed you.”
Tyler wiggled in my grip, rubbing himself against me. “I can’t wait for you to fuck me tonight.” He stretched on his toes and licked my chin.
The doorknob rattled again and then someone was banging on the door. It shook in the frame. A shout. “Who the hell is in there?”
Tyler pounded back, three hand punches. “Calm the fuck down!”
“We should go out there.”
Tyler took another long drink and passed me the bottle. I did the same, the sugary sweetness making my mouth water. I licked my finger and slid it down the back of his pants, past his underwear. He groaned. I leaned down and kissed him again, tongue filling his mouth, finger reaching inside him.
Whoever was on the other side shouted something else, I couldn’t make out the words.
“Fuck,” Tyler said, and pulled back, giggling. “Let’s go.”
We left, pushing through the press of bodies down a short corridor to the kitchen, where we found Addison. “There you are,” he grinned.
Tyler rooted around the countertop, crowded with bottles. He grabbed cups and poured, spilling some on his hand. He licked it off, red tongue darting. It was bright in the kitchen and the wine was already spreading its warmth, softening the space.
We threw back the tequila, chasing it with long gulps of beer. Addison laughed and coughed, spilling beer down the front of his shirt.
“You’re already a mess,” Tyler said. “I told you we would have fun. Let’s get in there.”
The other end of the kitchen opened onto the living room and we moved into it, humid and dense with dancing bodies. It was dark, no lights, and it took my eyes a moment to adjust. Groups in tight circles, facing each other and singing along. Girls with long hair swooping across their backs, bright fingernails clutching cups they raised above their heads, in triumph. Scattered throughout, pairs of guys and girls slid up and down, snakelike and urgent.
Tyler yelled over the noise. “God, Sawyer parties are so boring.”
“Yo.” It was Connor. He pulled a joint from his mouth and lifted it toward us.
“Yes, please.” Tyler took a long drag, eyes narrowing, pink lips a slit beneath them. He released the smoke, a long, slow stream. “That’s perfect.” He passed the joint to Addison. Addisonhesitated—his eyes shifting from me then back to Tyler. Tyler laughed. “It’s fine.”
Addison looked at me and I nodded. “Go ahead.”
He took a drag, a smaller one, and then turned to me, eyebrow raised. I hesitated.
“Come on,” Tyler said. “It’s a party.”
Addison smiled. “Just a puff?”
Fuck it, I thought. I’m here. Fuck Sawyer.
“Sure.” They both whooped. I closed my eyes and inhaled the muggy, pleasant burn of it. I held it in then let the smoke spill from my mouth.
