I type the message three times, erase it twice, and send it once.
Me:
Sorry if I came off cold. I was trying to be professional.
The dots appear immediately. When they vanish just as quickly, I readjust in my seat. I should say it in person, but a message comes through before I can get my car door open.
Eris:
You weren’t cold. You were careful.
I stare at that word until my brain finally catches up.
Careful.
So, she knows I’m holding back. Probably felt it too.
That’s so much worse than I thought it would be.
Becausecarefuldoesn’t mean distant…
It means deliberate.
It means she knows I chose my behavior, put thought into avoiding communication and touch… and even prolonged eye contact.
And now I’m not sure I can survive making that choice again.
Ican’t stop thinking about him.
Not just Jace, though his face stays in my mind longer than I want it to.
It’s the app that’s haunting me. I’m so sure it’s ahimor athem. The voice behind it is definitely male. The rhythm it uses when it talks to me changes, but only enough to reassure me it’s more than one person. And the way it pauses? It’s the same way people pause when breathing between sentences.
Sometimes, it feels like it isn’t guessing, but remembering.
Theyknow too much about me.
I can’t decide if I love it or hate it.
When has anyone gotten this close without me noticing or putting a stop to it?
Honestly, I’m a sucker for a good stalker romance…
But still, I try to stay away from the app all morning. I answer cryptic work emails written in code words, run several loads of laundry, and fold said laundry. Literally anything to keep from opening HimLock.
It’s not resistance, not really. It is hesitation, though. The kind that builds when you’re afraid of what you’ll find.
Not silence or static.
No. This is something that sounds a lot like… Want.
By the time I end up on the couch with my laptop open and nothing on the screen but a glowing grassy field I don’t want to visit in real life, I give in. My body makes the choice before my mind catches up, thumb already tapping the icon without my permission.
The screen goes black, a single pulsing red heart appearing in the center. And when it clears, there’s already a new message waiting for me.
Locke:
You’re quiet today.
