“With everything. Being away from him, going back to uni, thinking about…oh, you don’t want to know.” I’m suddenly conscious I’m probably confiding in Scott too much. We’re still not quite at friends’ level, never mind brother and sister, but I have to say, his response is kind of caring.
“Hey, you can do it. Ash has had a thing for you for so long, he won’t screw it up now, I know it.”
I have to ask him, “And are you okay with everything now? You know, you’ve got over the whole school crush thing…you don’t see me like that anymore, do you?” I’m buttering a massive loaf of bread, so I don’t have to make eye contact.
“I’ve been fine with it for a long time, but then I’ve had longer to get used to this…you know, you and me, being related.”
I screw up my nose. “Yeah, I’m still finding the whole thing weird.”
“But you’re coming to terms with it?”
“I suppose so…I mean it will take a little time.”
“Hmm, I guess,” Scott says then cocks his head to the side. “Spoken to your mum yet?”
“Christ no. Honestly, Scott, you have no idea what a nightmare she is.”
“I do have an idea,” he smiles half-heartedly while putting the cheese and ham on the slices of bread I pass to him. I forget he’s a victim of our parents’ actions too.
“Yeah, of course you do.” I sigh, “Sorry. It’s just I don’t want to confront her, not yet anyway. I’m not ready to think about our parents’ part in this, do you know what I mean?”
“I think so, I suppose I’ve already faced up to them being together because I had to; otherwise, it would eat me up and spit me out. Do or die if you like.”
“You know, I think you’ve coped amazingly.”
“And you will too. Give it time.”
“I want to concentrate on Ash and me first. I’ve got all the time in the world to confront my mother, but I don’t know how long I have left before Ash goes away.”
Scott continues to add far too much cheese on the sandwich he’s making. I assume his mind is wandering, until he says, “Can you do me a favour?”
“Sure, anything.”
“Can you call your mum and try to talk things through because believe me, we don’t know what’s around the corner.”
I feel like the worst person in the world. How could I be so callous; forgetting Scott had lost his mum way before her time. “I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Don’t be. Sometimes it takes something so brutal for you to realise what’s really important in life.” Scott shakes his head, still mindlessly adding cheese. “You know, despite everything, Mum never wanted me to tell anyone about what happened. She was worried people would think badly of my dad. Stupid I know, he was in the wrong, but she loved him, probably too much.”
“That’s so sad.” I touch Scott’s arm, and it’s the first time we’ve made eye contact in a while.
“You know, she didn’t want me to tell you at all. Mum was so scared our family would be the talk of the town. She carried a lot of worry on her shoulders, yet Dad didn’t seem that bothered and was free from all this shit.”
“It’s not fair, that’s for sure.”
“Whatever you two are gossiping about, stop it now. MrWhite has been waiting for his cheese sandwich for the last 10 minutes,” Rosie pipes up behinds us. Admittedly, I didn’t notice her there and I’m pretty sure Scott didn’t either. Rosie puts her arm around both our shoulders and brings us into her side. “Save the heart to heart for later. I get it kids, but we don’t want to upset the locals. They are, after all, our bread and butter, so to speak, when the visitors have gone home.” She taps our shoulders, then heads out the back again.
“I better get this wrapped up,” Scott says, his mouth twitching into a brief smile.
I just nod and smile back. It’s weird how I see Scott in a completely different light. I feel for him, and I’m sorry for what his mum went through. She had a lot to deal with. I hope, at some point, I get to hear about the happy times they had. She sounds like she was a lovely lady.
Scott and I work like demons, dancing around each other all day and what with Rosie’s niece, Scarlett, helping with the washing up and Rosie on main meals, we’re quite the team. We’re so busy, in fact, I don’t realise my hangover has lifted, and I’m feeling pretty good by the end of the day.
Once we’ve cleared and hung up our aprons, I’m so ready to hit the sack, but I promised Ash I’d watch the band practice. My legs are about to crumble under me if I take another step, but a promise is a promise.
“See you guys tomorrow,” I shout as I’m about to leave.
Scott is taking the last of the rubbish out when he offers, “You’re going to the warehouse studios, right?”
