Scott remains focused on his phone as if he’s expecting a call while avoiding my eyes. How dare he. I wonder if he gives a shit at all. “Everything alright there, Scott?” I gesture towards his phone. “Not keeping you from anything, am I?”
Then he sighs. “Look Cal, I’m sure you want all the answers now?—”
“Oh, don’t bother. You don’t care, not really. All this false regret and hard to read stuff is grating on me to be honest.” I’m on a roll, unable to stop myself from letting it all go. “But then you’ve always been unreadable. Even when the headteacher pulled you into his office and confronted you about how you treated me, or when you were given a bollocking from our form tutor. I stood there, crying in front of you, but I still never got to find out the cause of all your anger. It looks as though I still won’t get any answers now. This is a waste of time.”
I’m about to get up and walk away when his hand reaches across the table for mine. “I never meant to hurt you. I was lashing out Calla, I’m sorry. It was my twisted way of getting you back.”
I sit back down, my hands fisted on the table. “For what exactly? If we’re going to move on, please help me make sense of it all because I’m so confused right now.”
His elbows rest on the table and one hand runs through his dark brown hair. “I was jealous. It was pretty obvious you liked Ash and I knew for sure he liked you too. I fell out with him for a while, when I made it clear I saw you first.”
I do a double take. “What? You knew I liked Ash?”
“Kind of. As you said, he was there to help when you needed him; he was always the hero. I could see in your eyes how you felt about him. You gave him this look, I can’t explain.” He rubs at his forehead, now glistening slightly. “But then, at the end of the day, Ash was a good mate. He never acted on it, he was loyal to me first and foremost.”
“So, you went to all that trouble just because you thought I didn’t like you in the way you wanted me to?”
“No.”
“No? Then what the hell was it?”
The palm of his hands run down his face, “I’m not sure this is the right moment to?—”
“No, no, no. You don’t get out of this. If we’re going to work together, live in the same town and probably see a lot more of each other, let’s get this done once and for all.”
He continues to stare ahead but not at me, then briefly glances up to the ceiling. “I’m totally ashamed of myself and everything I put you through. You have to know that.” He takes a deep intake of breath through his nose before looking me in the eye. “But if you want the truth, then it’s obvious I’ve got no choice but to tell you.”
“I wish you would Scott because right now, you’re not making sense,” I say defiantly.
“I know and I’m sorry.” He blows out a long breath through his mouth. “Okay then,” he says, as if he’s about to say more but there’s a bang on the café window.
“Cal! Are you in there? Cal? Let me in.”
I look over my shoulder to see Ash’s red face. I turn back to Scott, about to apologise for the interruption when I see nothing but relief on his face. He gets up from his seat, picks up the keys and heads straight to the door. “You took your time,” he says to a breathless Ash who barges through the door.
“Have you told her yet?”
“I’ve been waiting for you, but it was getting close.”
“Sorry mate, I left as soon as I got your text.”
“What’s going on?” I ask Ash with a sideways glance, but neither of the boys get a chance to answer. “Everything alright here?” Rosie calls from behind the counter. “What’s all the commotion.”
“It’s just me, Miss—I mean Rosie,” Ash grins.
“Back so soon? You are keen.” She smiles, then heads out back again.
Ash pulls out a seat next to me; taking my hand when he sits while Scott settles back in his chair, opposite us. I glance between them. “I don’t like the look of this,” I murmur, but Scott doesn't reply. He glances at Ash who takes a slow blink his way, as if to say,– go ahead—it will be alright.
“Okay Cal, I have to ask you a question.”
“Jesus, what now?”
“It’s something pretty big, but both of us have to keep calm, okay?”
My brows narrow. “Okaaay?” I keep looking between the boys who signal to each other with their facial expressions.
“So, here it is. Did you know your mum was seeing my dad for a while?”
