“I had no idea. I’m sorry, Ash.” Her other hand rubs over my back while her head dips to catch my eyes. “I see your mum around, you know. She always looks so proud and strong. I can’t imagine her putting up with anything she wasn’t happy about, but then, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors.”
“She probably doesn’t feel so strong, Cal. My dad is a difficult man to live with; he makes her miserable. He’s never treated her with the respect she deserves, and despite everything, she soldiered on. I just want to make her life better.”
“Then you have your answer. No questions,” Cal says, her mouth smiling although her eyes don’t follow suit.
I shift in my seat, one leg over my knee and hold my ankle, sitting sideways to face her. Placing my bottle down, I take her hand in mine and play with her fingers. “I don’t know where this leaves us, and if I didn’t have Mum to consider, I’d tell them to stick it, or at least have more negotiating power.”
She huffs out a laugh. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” Her hands now thoroughly cup mine. “You know what Ash, even if it was the case, I couldn’t ask you to give up a lifetime opportunity for me. Our time together might be cut short, but we’ve had fun. Even before you got the offer, we knew things between us couldn’t be long term. At least, not right now.” She huffs, “I was always going to finish my degree, and you were either finishing uni or pursuing your music. If we were going to have something together, it could only ever be for now.”
“Maybe in your head, but it wasn’t what I was hoping for,” I confess honestly.
“Perhaps it’s time you looked at it that way. If you’re prepared to, we could still have our time, Ash. We could still have everything we want.”
Cal could be right, but the thing holding me back, more than anything else, is the thought of one day soon, saying goodbye.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ASH
“I wantthis with you but how the hell would it work, Cal? There won’t be time for us, which is the part messing with my head right now.”
“And you haven’t signed yet. We have time until you do.”
“But if we go ahead, we leave for London in a couple of months.”
A silence fills the air until Cal says, “Hey, we can let this get us down, or we can take every spare moment and live the hell out of it.” Her voice whispers, “I want to be with you, Ash, for however long we have.”
I look to my hands held in hers, then into her eyes which are wider than I’ve ever seen. She’s waiting for my response, almost willing me to accept the inevitable. But what if the limited time on offer isn’t good enough for me?
“Cal, I want something more than just a holiday fling here.” My heart is knocking ten bells out of my chest for her. “I want forever with you. I don’t know how we do it, but somehow, I want to give us the chance we deserve.” This is what Cal does to me. Turns me into her lap dog; I’d gladlyroll over if there were any possibility of us being together long term.
Cal sits up, takes one hand from mine, and gently runs her fingers along the line of my jaw. Her distinct, baby blues capture my own and beg me to take in every one of her words.
“If I thought it was possible, I’d take it right now, but there will always be something in our way, whether it’s my career or yours. If there comes a time when our situation changes; when we have the opportunity to be together for always, then yes. I want that too. But for now, let’s not make promises we can’t keep. Let’s take what we have now and give it everything we’ve got. Sign the contract, get the deed done. This is bigger than you and me. It’s about your family and your dreams. You and me, we can work out the rest.”
I cup her face. “But this isn’t how I wanted things to play out for us. We shouldn’t have restrictions.”
“Maybe not, but this is where we are. As long as there are no expectations from either of us or we take things for what they are, we can have what we want.”
I slump back in my seat, running my fingers through my hair. “Fuck Cal, what if I can’t handle it? I wish this were easier. I want to be here for you—look after you, protect you from anyone who thinks they can take what they want.”
The back of her finger slides over my cheek. “You mean like those idiots in the café today,” she smiles.
“Exactly. I can’t handle the thought of leaving you to fend for yourself.”
“Then don’t think about it, Ash.” She shifts over and straddles my lap. “I’ve had to look after myself for a long time now, so I know how to do it, although… I can’t deny, when you flew through the café like a speeding bullet, it…”
She searches my eyes and I ask her, “What Cal, tell me.”
She leans down over my chest, her pretty mouth by my ear, then whispers, “It was incredibly hot.”
My growing erection hardens, especially when she rubs her centre against me—repeatedly. I just hope I can calm the fuck down until we come to the end of whatever will happen here. I’ll take her lead, but I won’t hold back if she keeps on doing what she’s doing.
My palm smooths over her soft, delicate thigh. I hold her in place while her fingers comb through my hair, around to the nape of my neck. She pulls me forward, arching her back and pressing her mouth to mine. If this is about to happen, it won’t be fast. I’m going to take my time.
I slow things down, brushing her plump bowed lips with my own. Then we meet in the middle—her breathing heavy. I can’t help laying a hand over her heart, and I’m rewarded when I find it’s beating in perfect time with mine.
Her kiss is all I focus on; my tongue searching and needy. She moans into my mouth. It’s a sound my body responds to; my dick so hard, it hurts.
