“Everything alright?” Eddie asks.
“All good.” I smile, putting the phone away. “Sorry about the interruption.”
His chin lifts toward my coat pocket. “Was that him? The boyfriend checking up on you?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Yeah, yeah, course not.” He holds his hands up. “There’s no way he’s not checking on his beautiful girlfriend, and of course, she isn’t out with another guy.”
“Eddie, you’re out of order. We both know nothing is happening here, apart from two friends having a drink.” I indicate between us, giving him the side-eye. “It’s just—” I stop mid-sentence, realising how badly I’ve treated Ash. Shit, I’ve really messed up.
Realising Eddie is still waiting for me to finish what I was saying, I add, “He probably wants to make sure I’m okay.”
“Sure.” His knowing smirk grates on me.
“Whatever.” As soon as I can get out of here, I’ve got to call Ash and tell him I’ve made a massive mistake. How could I have doubted him?
I glance over to Eddie with my hand towards the crisps. “Do you want to finish these off?”
“Oh, no. I’m fine, you carry on,” he insists.
I don’t know where I’ve got this taste for salty, pickled onions snacks, but I can’t stop myself from tucking in. I’m not even hungry, but it helps to divert the conversation from the subject of jealous boyfriends.
“Okay then, if you won’t let me take you out, I’ll get you another drink.” This is the cue I’ve been waiting for. I’ve got to get out of here and call Ash; tell him I’m sorry for doubting him and beg him to forgive me. I’ve been such an idiot.
“My turn,” I push. “I’m returning your drink, then getting out of here. I’ve got an urgent call to make.” Before he protests, I swipe his empty bottle up in my hand and take just a few steps towards the bar. I stop for a second as a wave of heat rushes from inside me, then runs over my skin. I stumble forward and only just manage to place the empties on the bartop as I stand waiting to be served. I’m boiling hot and unsure if I’m about to throw up. Then, my legs give way beneath me and my head spins. I’m on the floor—I think. There are noises and voices around me. I can’t see them, everything is black as if I’m in a deep dark hole, but I can hear Eddie’s voice. He’s asking for help, but then I don’t know what’s happening because the voices are fading…fading fast…and I need to sleep. I really need to sleep.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ASH
It’s been exactlytwenty-eight days since I saw Cal and broke her heart. Despite calling every spare minute I can get, she never answers.
Thank fuck most days are full-on; it keeps my mind occupied. My body feels knackered after tonight’s gig, but it was worth it. The crowd was incredible, and for the first time, we got an encore. We knew we had to leave the stage within a specific time frame, but the team pushed us out again; telling us to enjoy the moment. We played our hearts out during that last song, while the crowd went wild.
Our tour started with Wild Mason two weeks ago, and it’s non-stop. The only proper time we get to relax are the hours spent on the bus, but that’s how I like it. I feel privileged to be part of this tour and play to sell-out crowds. I have to pinch myself most days because this is my life. The days are long, but playing this gig is forty-five minutes of pure pleasure. Just one person is missing when we come off stage, and I’m reminded every night when I play using the plectrums, she gave me.
Earlier today we had to rehearse a new song I wroterecently calledDrown in Blue. Having just recorded and released the album, Bernie decided this particular song was too good to wait for another. We’re releasing it as a one-off as soon as possible. Personally, I feel it’s our best to date, and Brett says heartbreak works well for me. My vocals were insane according to him. Believe me, I don’t intend to make my single status permanent to enhance the band's career. It doesn’t feel good to shatter your heart with every lyric written for the girl you love.
Before that, we had to record a segment for the Larry Simpson Show. He’s a massive deal over here, but I hadn’t heard of him until now. We don’t get a lot of free time to watch TV.
We’ve caused a storm, publicity wise. It’s all good, but it means any nights off from the tour we spend playing gigs for tv or radio. Guest appearances have flooded in, so much so, Bernie had to take on another PR assistant just to cope with demand. Dani isn’t best pleased, but it makes my life easier. It means I see less of her. Life could not be better as far as the band goes, it’s just my personal life that’s shit. It always will be until I get Cal back in my life.
I write at night when I can’t sleep. Max can’t seem to keep up with the amount of material I’m producing, so I’ve been writing most of the music on my own. He’s okay with that, mainly because he’s enjoying the benefits of the band on tour. There’s a different woman in his bed every night, sometimes two. Tommy and Brett aren’t exactly saints, but Max is out of control.
It’s nearly 2am by the time I’ve helped pack our equipment and load the last few flight cases onto pallets. We move out tomorrow, so the venue has to be cleared tonight. We usually leave it to our roadies, but I have to stay busy, and this is one way of doing it. It’s also a chance to touch basewith the guys on the ground. I want to make sure they’re doing okay. A few of them are a long way from home.
While we sit back and crack a few beers, my phone buzzes in the back pocket of my jeans. Grabbing it straight away, I hope it’s Cal. I always hope it’s Cal; I can’t give up on us yet.
It’s actually Scott, which is weird. I only spoke to him earlier after he called to let me know the results of the DNA test, he took with Cal. I excuse myself from the guys and accept it straight away; I am a little worried why my friend would contact me again so soon. Maybe he talked Cal round, or perhaps he just wants to talk. He has his own problems of the heart to deal with.
“Hey, Scott.”
“Ash, where are you?”
I look up above and realise I’m missing out on an incredible view. “I’m right in the middle of a stadium, looking up through the open roof, watching the stars.”
“Are you on your own?” Then I worry because his tone is pretty serious.
