“Oh, thanks Eddie, really, but I’m not sure I can eat another big meal today after the mammoth pizza I’ve just devoured. All my good work will be out the window,” I lie. I had just half my salad and nibbled on the crust of my pizza to keep Scott happy. I have no appetite at the moment. Who knew having a broken heart could turn your stomach? Not even the smell of my favourite food can tempt me.
“Drinks, then. I insist. Unless you’re busy, of course.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I just have a lot of work to catch up on?—”
“One drink. Nothing fancy. Let’s stay on campus.”
I can’t find an excuse quick enough, so I have to give in. “Um, yeah, sure.”
“It’s a date then.”
“Not a date, Ed.”
“Oh yeah, the boyfriend. Whatisgoing on there exactly? I’ve never seen you with anyone.”
Before we split, I’d already decided not to discuss Ash with Eddie or anyone else from our group. There’s no point in talking about him now. “He’s away doing his thing and I’m doing mine. We manage it somehow.” It’s a half-truth and one that hurts.
“I couldn’t be away from my girl for a long amount of time,” he says thoughtfully.
“You’re seeing someone?” I ask with a little excitement.
He huffs out a laugh. “No, still waiting for the right one.”
“Ahh,” I glance away, feeling embarrassed, but there’s no reason for me to be.
He laughs again, “Okay then, how about I pick you up at seven?”
“How about I see you by the outside of Westwood instead?”
He seems surprised but agrees to meet me outside of my accommodation building. “Sure, if you prefer, I’ll see you then.”
I’m pleased he doesn’t argue. I didn’t want to get into a situation where I felt obliged to invite Eddie into my room. Although he thinks I’m with someone, I get the feeling boyfriends aren’t an obstacle for him. Then my mind wanders to Ash kissing Dani. Ash denied it so vigorously, it’s justthose stupid photos… but yeah, that’s done now. I’ve made a decision and I have to stick to it. I push the thought from my head to save my churning stomach.
When I get back to my room, my intention is to complete an essay which has to be in by next week and then get to the library before it shuts. I look for my phone to check the time but soon realise I didn’t switch it back on after lunch, so I press the button, check the time and leave it on the kitchen counter. I only have an hour to get to the library, so I better get a wiggle on.
In a few quick seconds, I hear the first alert tone. Another second, it pings again, then again and again after that. I can only guess it’s the likes of Angie, maybe Nanna and Gramps, who knew Scott and I were getting our results today. With no thought, I put the phone on speaker and tap into my messages, expecting to hear a rattled Angie having a go because I haven’t called her back. But it’s not Angie’s voice I hear. Instead, his deep, gravelly tone sends an all too familiar ache through my body. There’s no other sound as comforting, calm and sexy as Ash’s voice.
“Hey, it’s me.”
There’s a moment I hear his rapid breathing.
“I just got off the phone with Scott. It seems I have to watch myself now you have a big brother.”He laughs a little.“But yeah, it’s good news. I’m pleased he’s there to look out for you. I just wanted you to know I’m happy for you. Anyway, yeah…take care, Calla and—”I hear him blow out a breath.“This isn’t easy. I wish I could hear your voice. Will you at least think about talking to me, please? There’s too much left unsaid and I wish we could make this right. Atleast give me a chance. Please, Cal, please give me a chance. Don’t let this be over, I’ll do whatever I have to do, but I can’t function knowing you’re not mine. I can’t.”
There’s another brief silence, his breathing rapid and heavy down the line before he’s gone. I have a moment of uncertainty, not the first by a long shot, but this one cuts right to my core. The voicemail service asks for the next instruction, but I can’t bear to delete his voice. In truth, I haven’t deleted any of his messages since we said goodbye. It’s like I’m holding on to something I can’t erase. Breaking up might have been my decision, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Not deep down. But then, trust would always be an issue, so what do I do?
I flip to the photo I took of Ash sleeping. I miss him so much and this ache inside me is almost too much to take. “There’s nothing left,” I say out loud to myself. But if that’s true, why do I have all these feeling I just can’t shift? Why am I still in love with him? I inhale a sharp breath as my legs tremble beneath me.“Shit.” My phone tumbles to the counter as I stagger to grab the side. I’m dizzy and confused. I need something to keep me balanced. The phone vibrates to life again with Angie’s name screaming at me. I have to take it before she loses her mind.I barely have a moment to say, “Hey,” before she’s on me.
“Where have you been? Didn’t you get my messages? I’ve been worried sick.”
“I’m sorry, I was with Scott.” The mention of his names strikes her silent. “Hello? Angie?”
“Yes, I’m here. Sorry, you were saying.”
“Scott came to see me, remember? We got our DNA results today.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Her tone is softer now.
“Don’t you want to know what they said?”
