CHAPTER NINETEEN
TOMMY
Angie’ssoft lips brush with mine. My tongue sweeps across the seam of her lips, until she opens them a little, letting me in. My breathing increases and I’m greedy for more. Cupping the back of her head, I urge her closer, deepening our connection.
My fingers comb through her hair, down to the nape of her neck. Our mouths collide and her delicate breath excites my lips. Before I can stop myself, our kiss becomes fevered, hot, and heavy. It’s as if everything in the universe has crashed together at once.
While Angie’s body relaxes into mine, I savour her touch until, eventually, the fever between us cools, and our brash kisses fade away.
“What do you want to do?” I ask, brushing my thumb over her wet lips.
She looks up at me like she’s frightened of something. “Can we take a walk?” She points further up the beach. “There’s a small cove with shelter from the wind close by.”
“Sure.” I reach for her hand, and her fingers weave withmine without hesitation. This is a good sign. Finally, we might get somewhere without raised voices.
We stroll in relative silence, deep in thought, and Angie leads me to a small rock pool at the entrance of a cave. We opt for sitting inside on the soft sand, and although Angie continues to keep her hand held in mine, I sense, by the way she’s avoiding eye contact, doubt is creeping back in.
“What is it, Angie?” I ask, shaking her hands to gain her attention. “Have you changed your mind already?”
She frowns. “No. It’s not that.” Finally, she looks up.
My nerves take over. “I mean, I know being with me isn’t easy. You’ve already said you’re scared and if you take me on, your life will change and you’ll have to deal with more than the odd fan throwing themselves my way. The media scrutinise everything you do, say, and wear. They follow you from place to place, and even though you’d have full protection from my security team, your life might not feel like your own sometimes.”
Without hesitation, she answers, “You don’t think I'm aware of how hard it can be? Did you forget Calla goes through this every day of her life? I get it, I understand it, and although I hate the idea, I wouldn’t be unprepared. That’s not my biggest concern. I don’t care about those people.” She takes in a breath and blows it out slowly. Her hand reaches over to my thigh, where she keeps her focus. “There’s a reason I kissed you out of nowhere today. I thought you were about to walk away, and I saw that moment as my last chance to tell you the truth.” I cup her face, bringing her eyes back to mine as she continues. “You were right when you said there’s a connection between us. It was there for me too. The problem is, as soon as I accept its existence, I feel…”
Her voice fades but I can guess what she wants to say. “Guilty?”
She nods and her sad smile returns.
“Because you’re here with me and not Scott.” It’s not a question. I’m stating a fact. At least, I think I am until she says, “No. I feel guilty because I’m happy again. With you.”
My heart nearly bursts from my chest, but I can see this is eating her up. This was never going to be an easy conversation, but I knew it was coming.
“There's nothing I can say to help with your feelings for him. He’s always going to be a part of your life. You had a beautiful son together and you don’t want Josh to forget his dad. I get it, and I wouldn’t want that for Josh either. I don’t expect you to stop loving Scott.”
There’s so much confusion in her eyes. “You don’t?”
Did she think I’d tell her I never wanted to hear his name again?
“No, never, but it's up to you to make peace with this yourself and be comfortable about moving on. I can’t help you with this part. All I can do is listen whenever you need me to.”
Her head tilts to the side. “You realise you’re offering something incredible. Not many men would be so understanding.”
I search her eyes, biting my bottom lip and contemplating if I should say it. But then the words come out anyway. “Not many men are in danger of losing the love of their life.”
I note the rise and fall of her chest. “The love of your life? Is that what I am?”
“I think you could be.” I don’t want to overwhelm her, and I’m relieved to see the corner of her mouth flicker upwards.
She closes her eyes for a second, then says, “I can’t keep you hanging on, Tommy. It’s not fair. This is your life too andnot every decision should be mine. For both of our sakes, we need to be sure.”
Her big blue eyes search mine as she waits for my reply. This is my opportunity to lay things out and make it clear where I stand.
“Look, If you decide to take this further, I’m all in. That means no more dating for either of us. The thing is—” I hesitate for a second and wonder if she’ll think I’m coming on too strong, but then, fuck it. “I can’t handle seeing you on dates with other men. It turns me into an arsehole, so if you can’t give me a chance, then that’s cool and I’ll accept it, but I probably won’t hang around to watch you break my heart.”
As if she’s been holding her breath, Angie sighs deeply, taking my hand again as her face brightens. “I don’t intend to break your heart. Ever,” she whispers.
My head spins. Fuck, what does this woman do to me? “And for the record,” she continues, “I couldn’t stand seeing you with another woman either.” The mood lightens as she clears her throat. “Which is crazy because I’ve seen you with hundreds in the past.”
