“Not now.” Wouldn’t she just love that? My world fallingapart around me. Even if Chelsea was the last person on Earth, I wouldn’t talk this over with her.
“And you wonder why I don’t want to be married to you anymore. This is typical of you. You’re always shutting me out,” she says, flying off the handle again, but if I’m honest, Chelsea isn’t wrong. There’s a reason why I don’t tell her anything. I can’t risk it. Surely, when you love someone, you share everything and trust them completely.
“I’m not shutting you out, but a lot of stuff just isn’t any of your business anymore and I doubt you’d care anyway.”
The only thing she’d care about is how Brett’s departure might affect her life. If the band splits, would she still get the lifestyle? The perks? And most of all, would she still get the money? But I knew all this before I married her. Even though I told myself that once our baby was born, we’d grow to love each other, deep down in my gut, I knew it would never happen. What a fucking waste of time and energy.
Chelsea rolls her eyes, which spurs me on to get this wrapped up. Brett leaving the band has knocked the crap out of me, and I’m sure Ash and Max will feel the same. I need to be with people who care as soon as possible, but my son’s welfare is also at stake here.
I blow out a long sigh. “Look, Chelsea, we’ve got a lot to sort out, and, for Ozzie’s sake, we need to deal with this like adults. I suggest we talk about what happens with our kid and do the rest when we’re not so angry.” When she doesn’t argue, I know I’m right. My only concern is for Oz. “Our priority has to be keeping Ozzie happy, which means equal time with both of us.”
“Sure,” she says, shrugging.
“So, how do you want to do this? A week with you, then a week with me?”
“How about a month with you first?”
My eyes widen as my finger rubs my brow. It’s obvious to me straight away that what Ozzie needs won’t come into this. “You want to see your son every other month?”
She purses her lips. “Sure, why not? You keep telling me how you missed him so much while you were on tour. Now you’ve got a chance to spend as much time with him as you like, and I don’t have a problem with a few weeks of peace.”
The pain in my chest must be my heart breaking for my son. I bite my tongue, for his sake. “I don’t want a four-week gap between each visit.”
“You managed it on tour. It’s no different.”
My muscles tense, my jaw clenches, and I tell myself to breathe. “I was working and had no choice.”
“You always have a choice, Tommy. Don’t give me that shit.”
“Yeah? Is that why you went out night after night and left our boy with Connie while I was touring?” It’s stupid and petty, but it feels good to get my own back.
Her mouth opens but nothing comes out initially until she stutters, “Well… you think you work so hard, but I’m the one left behind to cope while you’re out partying with bandmates and groupies. It’s wall-to-wall pussy on those tours. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
“For fuck’s sake—” I stop myself there. I’m not going down this tit-for-tat road with her. Yeah, there’s always girls hanging around backstage or at the after show parties. A lot of them, but I’ve never been unfaithful and she knows it. I had a ring on my finger for a reason. It meant something to me; it meant I was willing to give this marriage everything I had. I was stupid to think I could make this work with a girl like Chelsea and even more stupid to think she was capable oflove. Not with me, and not with our son either. At least, not enough. I can’t explain how much it tears me apart to admit that.
Although I’m out of time and energy, we’ve got to come to some sort of compromise. Our marriage has gone to shit, but I still need to make sure she has somewhere to go.
I scratch my head. “Look, this isn’t getting us anywhere. What matters now is Oz. He should be our only priority.”
Her lips press together and she remains silent, which only causes me to sigh and count to ten in my head. Keeping calm is key here.
“Do you have anywhere to live?” I ask her.
“I’ll be staying with a friend.” She won’t look at me again.
“Which friend?”
“Never mind.”
I rub the back of my neck, trying to ease the tension building in my muscles. “Okay, well then, I suggest when I have Oz, we stay here in the apartment, and I can rent you a place until it’s your turn. You can move back in for the time you have him and I’ll take the rental. That way, Ozzie gets to stay home and we keep things as normal as we can for him.”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“No?”
“I’m moving out, Tommy. I’m packing my stuff today and I’m not coming back, not even for the month I have Oz. He can come to me.”
Leaning against the wall, I fold my arms. Honestly, I’m trying here, but all she wants to do is fight against me. I want to fight for what’s right for my boy because he’s the one who will get hurt.
