The room is quiet as we’re the only two people here, and Tommy seems nervous when he asks, “You ready?”
I collect my hoodie, which is hung up by the door, and tie it around my waist. “Yeah. I’m all set.”
There’s a cool breeze and no sound other than waves crashing against the shore. Tommy takes my hand while we stroll in silence for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. I’m unsure if I should start this conversation or leave it to him. Maybe instead of waiting, I should pluck up the courage to express what my heart truly wants instead of dilly-dallying about.
Filling my lungs with sea air, I’m now ready to offload all the reasons I can’t be apart from him for more than a day. Being without him is worse than the possible press intrusion. At least we can lean on each other when we’re together.
As I open my mouth to speak, Tommy says, “Shall we go inside the cave? We can talk better there.”
The focus on my big speech falls away. “Yeah. Why not?” I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I hadn’t realised how long we’d been walking.
We step inside and Tommy sits on the rock. I untie my hoodie from around my waist and slip it over my head, using the time to take deep breaths. This is stupid. Why am I so nervous?
“Hey, come here.” Tommy offers his hand to me, which I take to steady myself as I sit, but he doesn’t let go. “You’re quiet tonight.”
I tap my head. “I’ve got a lot going on up here.” So much so that I’m fairly sure I’m about to word vomit all over him.
“Yeah, me too,” he agrees, nodding. “We’ve been so busy trying to please everyone around us that we’re not pleasing ourselves. Do you know what I mean?” He edges closer, never letting go of my hand while folding his other arm around me. I huddle in.
“Yes. I do,” I pensively reply.
“What is it, babe?”
I take my time before I answer as goosebumps roll across my skin, and my body shivers with the sensation. Even now, just by calling me babe, the name he calls every woman he knows, I turn to jelly. He uses a different tone with me. A more measured, soft, and slightly sexy rasp that I’ve only ever heard when we’re on our own.
“In the beginning, when we first realised there was something between us, I was using my love for Scott and his business to hold me back, and that’s not fair. If he could communicate and tell me what to do, he’d say, ‘stop crying and start living’. He was never one to sit back and let life pass him by without jumping in, and I believe if he could see the state I got myself into, he’d be bloody horrified.” A tear rolls down my cheek, even though I’ve tried not to cry.
Tommy swipes it away. “It’s okay. Let it all out.” Then he pulls me closer and I rest my head on his shoulder.
Soaking in his body’s warmth, I nuzzle under his jaw and savour his fresh, woody scent. Finally, I have the strength to move this relationship on, and I want him to know I trust him in every aspect of my life.
“I’ve seen how you were with Chelsea. Despite what that soulless bitch did to you, you’ve been nothing but faithful. God knows temptation must have been banging down your dressing room door every night, begging you to lose yourselfin someone else for a time and ignore what was going on in your personal life, but you didn’t. You held strong and true for your little boy. It's obvious how much you love Ozzie, and your actions speak volumes to me.”
“I did nothing special, Angie. Only what I had to. To the outside world, life with the band revolves around how many women you slept with, the drugs, the alcohol, and all the shit that comes with it, but I don’t want my kid to grow up thinking it’s okay to live like that. I’ll teach him to respect women, dress nice, eat well, and take care of himself and anyone he loves. I want him to live a full and happy life.” He searches my eyes, pushing my hair away from my face. “And you. I want those things for you and Josh too, which is why I think we should bring our boys up together. As a family.”
I smile up at him as butterflies fly wildly around my stomach. We both want the same things. It just took one of us to say it. “I’d like that.”
“What I also want is more than what we've got right now. How would you feel about living together? The four of us.”
“What?” I choke. Not because I don’t want this, but because it’s more than I dreamed he would want at this point in our relationship.
“If it’s too soon, then it doesn’t have to be?—”
I press my finger against his lips. “Shh.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Just tell me I’m not dreaming.”
The depths of his hazel eyes search mine. “It’s real, babe,” he answers in a low tone.
It’s selfish of me to savour this moment any longer, so I answer his question without words. I reach up, close my eyes, and as if there’s a magnetic force between us, my lips find his. They are warm to touch but silky smooth and gentle as they slide across my own. Then his tongue slips deep into my mouth and our tempo changes in seconds. An energy filledwith need grips us both as my hands hold his shoulders and he cups the back of my head. Our tongues continue to dance together while my heart beats wildly in my ears and his arms fold around me. His hand slips under my hoodie and the t-shirt underneath. As soon as his fingers touch my stomach, a wave of electricity strokes my skin and continues to increase when he works his way towards my bra. He pushes the cup down and my breast spills into his hand. Instantly, my nipples harden between his fingers.
“Fuck, you always had the best tits, Angie Laine,” he says, using my maiden name. The same name I had when he first knew me. It hits my funny bone, and a giggle escapes against his mouth. It’s all so easy and familiar, as if I’m that carefree girl I used to be. Tommy laughs too as our foreheads rest against the other.
“That wasn’t my most romantic line.” He huffs out a chuckle, and I’m still giggling about it. Then memories of our university days fill my mind. “It reminded me of that night at the Dunbar Hotel,” I say, trying to catch my breath. “You spoke your mind then too.”
“Hey, I’ve always said it how it is.”
“I only went along because Calla was worried about meeting Ash for the first time by herself, but boy, was I drooling when I spotted you were part of the band.” There’s a heat to my cheeks, and I bow my head to hide my embarrassment. I shouldn’t be bothered by speaking my truth, but I’m older now and not so free with my words.
“I was pretty hard the moment I laid eyes on you too.”
