M: Are you sure you have room and the willingness to let me do this? I don’t want to take advantage of you, or kick you out of your own house.
L: You’re doing neither of those things. I invited you, and when I did that, I knew what I was getting into. You have a business to run. It’s a home based business. If, for whatever reason, you’re here for longer than a few weeks, we’ll talk about serious options. I’m not willing to let you go back to that situation. I heard it over the radio.
How embarrassing. Who else heard about the situation over the radio. While I realize that most who listen are doing it because it’s part of their job, there’s a bunch of others who listen because they’re nosy. They want to hear everything about their neighbors and gossip about them behind their backs.
I’ve done everything in my power in order to not be in other people’s mouths. Not after the way my parents told me never to draw attention to myself.
M: Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m going to do some rearranging, but if you come home and it’s too much for you, please tell me.
L: It’s fine, Magnolia Grace, I promise.
Those words warm my chest in a way it used to when Cody would say sweet things. It was good until we got married, and then everything changed. Which is why I want to take everything that Levi says at face value, but at the same time I’d done the same with Cody. And I’m seeing now how that turned out.
What if I give Levi the permission to hurt me by believing whatever it is he says to me? I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back from it if Levi breaks my heart.
But right now, I can’t think of any of those things, I have to get my business back up and running. It’s what’s paying for the divorce, and for both Cody and I to live. Although I would love to cut his ass off, my attorney says I can’t just yet.
As I’m getting the last table set up, I get a FaceTime request from Molly. I’ve been avoiding her and know I can’t do it anymore, but I’m kind of worried about her knowing that I’m at her brothers. I get into the chair next to the table, and push it back against the wall so that she can’t see where I am. This is a regular wooden wall, so hopefully she’s not tipped off.
“Hey,” I answer, giving her a smile.
“Hey,” she answers back. “I heard things were a little crazy at home earlier.”
I wonder who all has heard about what happened. It’s the last thing I really want to think about. When I was in town, at the grocery store, I made sure not to make eye-contact with anyone because I didn’t want to see the sympathy in their eyes. Didn’t want to listen to them speak in hushed tones about what my life is like. “Yeah, it wasn’t a good situation.”
“Do you need a place to stay?” She asks. “I know that my apartment isn’t huge, but it’d be better than staying with him.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I’m actually staying some place else. I’m safe, and Cody doesn’t know where I am.”
She looks closer at what’s behind me. “Are you at an AirBnB?”
“Yes,” I say quickly, thankful that’s what she came up with. If in the end I need to tell her I’m at Levi’s I can say something about the AirBnB not working out. “I was lucky to find one that was renting for a couple of weeks. It’s allowing me to continue working while I’m away from home. Regardless of the chaos Cody’s thrown me in, I still have orders that need fulfilled and money that needs to be made.”
“I wish I could help you. Do you need help? Is there something I can do for you?”
I knew this was coming. Molly is always worried about me, and always offering to fix things. “Thank you for even offering, but this is something I need to do on my own. I’ll continue posting on social media as I can, and fulfilling orders. Anything I can do to keep things as normal as possible.”
“I’m so sorry, Mags. I thought that Cody was it for you. He had us all fooled.”
That he did, but I can’t listen to everyone say sorry to me about how much my marriage has imploded. “Thank you, but you don’t have to apologize. I’m sick of everyone apologizing. It is what it is and I have to be a big girl and admit that I was either blind or stupid.”
“You weren’t either of those things.”
But I feel as if I were. “I’ll definitely be more careful next time. Whoever knows when next time even is,” I sigh. “Right now I feel as if I’m off men for a while.”
“What about women?” She raises her eyebrows up and down with a grin.
“At this point, I’d give it a shot. I kissed a girl once, ya know?”
Molly grins back at me. We kissed on a dare. “It was a good kiss,” she insists.
“It was. Who knows, maybe at one point I’d even date a man and a woman. Right now I’m not even sure what the future looks like for me? Do I want to be in a committed relationship? Do I want to date around? We’ll find out, I guess.”
But at the same time, I know who I am. I’ve always wanted a marriage like Ruby and Caleb, and the more I think about it, the further that dream is slipping between my fingers.
“Either way, whatever you need to do, just know that I’m here to support you. Whether that be by being your wingwoman, or helping you with your business.”
My throat tightens. As I think more and more about my best friend, I realize what I need. “How about we meet at A Whole Latte Love sometime this week and have a coffee. I would love that more than anything. I just want to feel normal, Molly. The way he’s treated me over the last year has made me feel anything but.”
