She gave me a look before she let out a chuckle.
“I'm saying that Hunter Girl and Troublemaker are getting antsy. You promised to show them the world, did you not? And here you are, fussing over me.”
My heart warmed at the nicknames she had for my lovers.
They had all grown close, something I never imagined possible even when I was a little girl. I never once considered I’d end up with my true loves, let alone that my mother would actually dote on them as much as she did on me.
“I…” I paused, my throat becoming thick with emotion. “I just want to be with you, is that such a crime?”
She gave me a sad smile and scooted closer. When she laid her head on my chest and sighed, I found the knot in my throat getting bigger.
“I love you, Aurelia.” She took her glove off and slipped her hand in mine. “I think it’s time I apologize to you.”
I looked at her in shock.
“Mother,youhave nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be the one apologizing because I never knew you were down there.”
I looked at our intertwined hands. The guilt sometimes felt like it would eat me alive. She had been down there, suffering, while I was off doing whatever I wanted.
Well, not quite.But still, it paled in comparison to what she went through.
“I had a chance to run away with you,” she whispered. “When he was busy dealing with my handmaiden and her pregnancy, I had a chance. I should have taken it. At least then you wouldn’t have had to endure all this pain.”
“You couldn’t have known.”
“But I did,” she said, finally looking at me. Bloodred tears gathered in her eyes. “I knew he was a monster; I just never thought that he would turn on me like he did. I shouldn’t have… I should never have told you to stay fierce. I should have told you to run.”
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close.
“You and I both know nothing would have taken me away from this place.”
She hugged me back.
“Which is exactly why you need togo.You can’t keep staying here like a princess stuck in her tower waiting to be saved. You’vebeensaved. You just refuse to walk through the door.”
Her words hit me right in the chest.
It was true. I didn’t want to leave. No, it was more accurate to say that I was scared to leave.
I didn't want to leave her in case she wouldn't be here when I got back.
It didn't matter that my lovers were waiting for me. They had been patient and said nothing as they allowed me to spend time with my mother. But this wasn't the life I imagined living once it was all over.
I couldn’t stay in the palace ruins for the rest of my life.
All I ever wanted was freedom, but I never really thought about what that freedom would look like. What did I want to do if I wasn’t tied down to a title or a palace?
More importantly,what did that make me?
If I wasn't the Castle princess, what was I?
“I don't know who I am without this place,” I admitted to her, scared to say it any louder than a whisper.
“You’re Aurelia. My daughter. Their lover. A headstrong, dependable, passionate woman fate tried to tear down. But you survived. And now you can turn your life into what it always should have been.”
I held on to her, clutching her as if it were the last time.
“I'm scared,” I whispered.
