He would eventually turn and break my heart. If I gave him the chance.
I changed into my pajamas and went back into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, when a knock sounded at the door.
My stomach sank.
There was no way.
He didn’t know where I lived. I had only been over to his place.
No way.
I tiptoed to the door and peered into the peephole.
It was him. I stepped back, scared of myself. Scared of what I might do.
There was only one choice. Don’t let the alpha in.
Chapter Thirteen
Evander
Pushy. I’d been horribly pushy, and I didn’t know where that came from. Never in my life had I behaved that way. Not even in seventh grade, which this calling and calling nonsense felt like. Rather, I was more used to being pursued. Both at Cuffed and, now, Crowned, I had omegas approaching me whenever I was on the floor, asking me to play. But Hudson? When he came into the picture, I lost most of my brain cells.
It didn’t help that I was trying to decide whether to invest in the clubs. Gatlin requested I not say anything to anyone until and unless I signed. My attorney was still reviewing everything, but I didn’t expect them to have anything negative to say about the deal. It was more a question of whether I wanted to change my dreams to accommodate this new opportunity. All those binders and digital notes that detailed the plans I’d made for my future as a restauranteur. Sketches of dining rooms and kitchens, lists of supplies I’d need. The best knives, sturdiest pots and pans with not a single hot spot. As I worked at various establishments, I made note of things that made my chef’s heart happy, sad, or angry. Listed them as loves, hates, and utter lack of interest.
If I took this opportunity, and how stupid would I have to be to say no, would I regret the change of direction?
Taking the job as head chef at Crowned gave me a false sense of security and grounding. I thought that I could stay for four or five years, save more money, then leave and open the restaurant on my own. It never even entered my mind that the kitchen at Crowned could be that place.
My night off, and I was spending it with my head spinning. What decision should I make for my future career? Why wasHudson not returning my calls and texts? A small part of me wanted to throw my hands up, go back to French Corner, and start all over again.
Not an option. Even if word had reached me from my former staff that the new chef was doing a terrible job and likely to be fired any day. Or quit. No, I had to face life from the position I stood in now, and since I couldn’t deal with the career front until I heard back from the lawyer and thought about things a bit more, I had only one choice.
Go to Hudson’s home and ask why he didn’t want to talk to me. Foolish? Maybe. But I was doing it anyway. If he sent me away, I’d at least know where I stood. Driving over, I tried not to think about that possibility. I’d already behaved far too stalkery, and it was time to revert to the civilized alpha I’d thought I was before this. What made me behave so badly?
Mate.My wolf spoke rarely, but I already knew he felt that we had found our fated. And I agreed. I would have marked him already if he had indicated that he wanted that. But it also explained my embarrassing forwardness. Of course it was difficult to ignore. And I prayed I wouldn’t have to. But, if Hudson was not interested, then, wolf or no wolf, mate or no mate, I would show him the respect of stepping away and never looking back.
I parked out front and approached Hudson’s apartment with trepidation. Perhaps I was overstepping, but it was also the bravest thing I’d done in a while. Maybe it would be better not to embarrass us both by forcing him to be blatant. I’d made multiple attempts to reach him, and he could not be much clearer in his intent by ignoring me. The only thing left was blocking me. Sure, I wished he’d come out and say it, but who was I to force him to do that?
Just to make me feel better—although it would make me feel worse. Hand lifted to knock, I dropped it to my side and turnedaway. He didn’t deserve to feel like his privacy was infringed upon.
“Evander?” His voice stopped me with one foot suspended over the next step down. “Are you leaving?”
I pivoted back, schooling my expression into calm. Hopefully. And I almost lied, said I thought he wasn’t home. But if a dom knows anything, and the same goes for an alpha, it’s that the only chance a relationship of any kind has is based on honesty. So, I said, “I just wanted to make sure you were avoiding my calls on purpose.”
The omega flushed. “I was.”
“Okay, then I’ll go. Thanks for the time we spent together. It meant a lot to me.”
Before I moved a single muscle, he grabbed my arm. “Don’t.” His fingers gripped my sleeve.
“Then tell me what you do want me to do, omega, because I’m getting a mixed message here. You ignored my calls. But you don’t want me to leave. Would you like to talk about this?” Trying not to get my hopes up, I watched his fingers relax, stroke the soft cotton covering my forearm.
“Come in?” He stepped back, clearing the doorway. “I would like to talk.”
I followed him in and took a seat on the sofa. “Okay, let’s talk, then.
“Can I get you something to drink first?” He hovered in the middle of the room. “Something to eat?”
