“No ceremonies over the holidays. That’s a reasonable limit that will keep us out of trouble.” Hopefully. “If she suggests anything fishy just ask for books on the subject so you can read up on it. Play dumb but curious about how to grow as a person.”
She’d like that and it would hopefully keep us from ending up married.
I really didn’t want to have to go back to school and immediately start filling out paperwork and that kind of stuff.
“Play dumb. Act curious. Grow as a person.” Nodding to himself, he sat straighter. “And if it comes down to it, explain I need to be a bit further into the program before we can completely merge our lives and I’ll distract her by showing her some of the houses we like.”
He really was just as weird as my mother in his own unique way.
Maybe that was why I liked him so much?
“Don’t show her the pink one.” She’d like that one. “Tell her you like the energy of that one with the blue shutters.”
It had a great backyard and enough privacy for a hot tub.
“Got it.” He leaned over and kissed my head, confident look firmly in place. “I’m going to let you open the door but just know I’d rather do it.”
He was so cute.
“Thank you, Daddy.” Kissing his cheek, I looked down at my lap. “Will you unbuckle me?”
“I would love to.” He kept his hands in appropriate places, but lower parts of me still loved it when he took care of me. “We’re just going to be boring for a while and then we’ll have privacy later when they think we’re fucking like rabbits.”
Yep…it wasn’t conventional but neither was the way my mother was rushing out the door.
“What is she wearing?” Levi’s genuine confusion over the Christmas tree skirt and garland wreath made me laugh. “It’s like Christmas exploded on her.”
“Well, she’s not exactly Christian, so she’s just taken the parts of the holiday that align with her aura and energy.” My explanation had him nodding to himself.
“At least she’s not going to lecture me about Jesus’s birthday being turned into a commercial monstrosity.” Levi’s flashback to the religious guy made me smile. “This is much more relatable.”
Really?
I was starting to think all of his bad dating experience had been the universe’s way of making sure my family looked less scary than it should have been.
“It’s going to be fine.”
And we’d both believe it if he said it enough.
Chapter 21
Levi
“No, the size of his member or his aura was not the reason he’s called Alexander the Great.” That was ridiculous and so was the way she’d made me figure out so many polite ways to say penis.
“But I read—”
“Dear?” Teddy’s dad seemed to have had enough of the dick talk too because he finally interrupted her before she could tell us about something else she’d read.
Something elsewrongshe’d read.
How were there so many weird and inappropriate books and documentaries on historical figures?
We had better things to do as a society than wonder about everybody’s kinks and sexuality.
“Did you ever return those emails you said had to be done by tonight?” Teddy’s parents both looked like Christmas hippies, but James looked slightly more normal in just a brightly colored sweater. He also seemed more normal because he was really good at managing his wife. “Didn’t you say your accountant was having a cow about something?”
Amazing.
