Behind me, the sound of running water cuts off.
I flinch, drawer still open, toy still in my hand. My heart slams into my ribs as I assess my options. Hide the toy? Turn it on? Flee?
The bathroom door creaks, then footsteps approach in a steady rhythm.
I spin toward the door, the toy hidden behind my back, pulse roaring in my ears. I’m caught between needing to chuckle like a schoolboy caught red handed, and… wanting toknow more?
Chapter 14
Corvus
Itakewaylongerthan necessary, but the hot water raining down on my head shields me from the reality awaiting me in the bedroom. I have a fiancé. A fiancé whom I eat with at the table, who shares things with me, and who will tonight sleep in my bed.
What the hell happened?
How did I end up like this, with this… stranger invading my space like a Corpselock song played at a cutesy boho wedding?
When, on a whim, I decided to take Dalton under my wing and save him from certain death, I imagined a setup where he has his space, enclosed and separated from mine, where I might join him for sex. Like a toy I otherwise keep in a box. But it’s only been three days, and I’m already breaking all the rules I set up in my head.
Worse yet, I feel bad about establishing any in the first place.
That feeling dissipates the moment I step into my bedroom to find him snooping through my drawers. I should have made him sit in front of a locked door until I came out. I may have been sorry for him whenhe told me about his upbringing, and it melted something in me, but this is a serious violation of boundaries.
I stew in my fury, considering my options when he gives me a cocky grin and winks as if any of this is okay.
“Wow. Nice collection…” He pulls out the dildo he was hiding behind his back as I imagine myself grabbing one of my belts from an open drawer and strangling him with it.
When I finally speak, the words come out as a jumble, and I try again, storming toward him. “Leave this! Let go! Who told you you can just browse my stuff? If it’s closed, it’s not for you,” I roar and peel the black dildo out of his hand.
At least he doesn’t wrestle me for it, because that would have been even more humiliating.
“Sorry!” Dalton raises his hands. “I got bored. I kind of thought that since it’sourbedroom now—”
“Those are my private things! You don’t get to just fucking gawk at my secrets,” rips out of me as breathing becomes increasingly difficult. The heat inside my head pulses in an ever quicker rhythm as I think about the way he smirked at me.
Evenhethinks I’m ridiculous. A pathetic glutton for pleasure who’d break all rules to get his kicks. Isn’t that exactly what I’ve done by bringing him here?
Why am I like this?
Why do I… likethisso much? If I have to be gay, couldn’t my needs at least be more… in line with what I’ve been taught a man should desire and be?
Dalton’s guilt is painted all over his stupidly handsome face. “I think it’s kinda hot that the scariest guy in the room’s got a drawerfull of ways to get ruined. Maybe we could even… try one out?” He wiggles his eyebrows as my face fills with so much blood I’ll be getting a nose bleed any second.
“Are you deaf?” I shout, only to realize I’m still holding the dildo. It wiggles like an accusation, and I toss it at the nearest wall just to get it out of my hand. I never want to see that damn thing again, but, of course, that isn’t meant to be.
In a mockery of everything I stand for, the damn toy flips in the air and manages to land suction-base first.
I feel ill and retreat to the bathroom without thinking.
I put my face in my hands, but covering my eyes isn’t enough, because the image of the dildo, attached to the wall and wiggling at me, is burned under my eyelids. How can I ever be treated seriously, the way I deserve, by someone who’s seen that?
I don’t know how much time has passed by the time I hear a knock. It shocks me into reality, and I don’t know what to do, because how can I ever leave the bathroom now?
Even being this embarrassed about what happened is a sign of my weakness. I should have taken charge of the situation, made Dalton squirm. Instead, I lost all composure.
“Uh… Corvus? I’m sorry I looked. We don’t have to do anything with them if that’s— You know what? We can forget all about it if that’s what you want.”
Oh, God… how much more humiliating can this evening get? Now he thinks I’m some fragile thing in need of reassurance andlies.
