‘Look, I just need to check what it says. I could only read the beginning of it and it’s been playing on my mind.’
‘Sure. Go ahead,’ I say, not looking at him. I don’t want him to see my torment in my face.
‘Just, wait a second. Don’t leave. Please,’ he says, his tone beseeching.
This stops me in my tracks. I think he really does want me to stay. I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I twist my fingers together in my lap.
Kit reaches for his phone again and I watch as his gaze dances across the screen. He lets out a rush of breath, then I see a smile flash across his face. Clearly it’s good news. For him.
‘Everything okay?’ I ask, unable to help myself.
‘Yeah. Fine. It’s just – she’s coming here to the hotel to see me.’ He pulls a frustrated face now, but I can tell he’s trying to hide how buzzed he actually is by the idea of this. That there might still be hope for them getting back together, I guess.
Clearly it’s not over between them.
Which makes sense, I suppose. She’s much more his speed than me. Better suited to his billionaire lifestyle than I am, with my cat cafés and cheap travel choices.
Katya fits right into his world, without him having to adapt in any way.
And anyway, the last thing I need right now is more complication in my life.
This thought cements my decision to leave.
‘Okay, then I really should go,’ I say, standing up from the bed. ‘I don’t want to be a third wheel.’
‘You really don’t need to?—’
‘Yeah, I do. You should see her if she’s making the effort to come all the way here to see you.’ I take a shaky breath. ‘You’re obviously still in love with her and it’d be wrong for me to get in the way of you two getting back together.’
He goes to speak but I talk over him. ‘I can’t stay longer anyway. I have to get back to work. They need me there,’ I say stiffly. ‘And this was never meant to be anything more than a bit of fun, right?’
He rubs a hand over his hair. ‘Err, yeah. I suppose so.’
‘So let’s call it finished now, before we get confused about what it is we’re doing here.’
I can feel him staring at me as I pull on the rest of my clothes.
This wasn’t supposed to be athingwith Kit. It’s just a distraction, a balm.
I can’t afford to allow myself to catch any feelings. I’ll only get hurt. Again.
It’s too soon for me to get into anything serious again anyway. I need to give myself some room to breathe before I launch into something new with someone else.
‘Can we talk about this for a second?’ Kit says, his voice laden with frustration.
Panic starts to rise again in my stomach. I can’t deal with this right now.
‘I can’t spend more time with someone who’s always looking over my shoulder for someone better anyway,’ I bite out.
He looks affronted by that ‘What? I wouldn’t do that.’
‘You used to.’
‘I used to be a complete prick, yes, I admit it. But I’m not any more. I learnt my lesson about that when we split up.’
‘Did you though? How can I trust that?’ I try to make this sound persuasive, but I’m way off the mark. I actually sound defensive. Argumentative.
