She draws in a shuddery breath, but keeps her gaze locked with mine. ‘I want you to fuck me. Hard. Like you used to. I’ve been numb since it all happened and I just want tofeelsomething again.’
I look into her face, wanting to take a minute to reassure myself she really means what she’s saying. That she’s not going to regret it later.
I see only confidence and resolve in her expression.
‘Okay. I’ll be back in a minute,’ I say, stepping away from her.
‘Where are you going?’ she asks, sounding a bit panicked, as if she’s worried I’m going to hightail it out of a window or something.
‘Getting condoms. They’re in the bathroom,’ I say, flashing her a meaningful smile.
‘Oh. Yeah. Of course, good thinking.’ She shakes her head at herself, widening her eyes, then rolling them as if she can’t believe she was being so obtuse.
‘Give yourself a break, Dasher, it’s hard not to be befuddled by my charisma,’ I joke, wanting to keep the mood light.
It works. She laughs and rolls her eyes at me instead.
‘Back in a mo,’ I promise, flipping her a grin, then heading into the bathroom.
I close the door behind me quietly, needed a moment on my own to get my head straight before we engage in this madness – which it probably is, to be honest.
Crazy, but necessary?
It was inevitable I suppose, from the moment we locked eyes with each other in the hotel’s reception yesterday, that this was where we’d end up. Even if we were both pretending it wasn’t.
Staring into the mirror, I check in with myself.
Is this really such a good idea? Especially as we split up before because our outlooks on life are so disparate?
But this isn’t meant to be a serious thing, I remind myself. And we’re both different people now. More mature and experienced. And unlikely to cross each other’s paths again after we leave this hotel.
I’m actually in a much stronger place now, mentally, despite Katya abandoning me.
That suddenly all feels so far away. Like it could have happened to someone else. That’s the Chloe effect, I guess. She’s a real head-turner.
So this could be a liberation. A proper conclusion to something that’s always felt like a loose thread dangling in the darkest recess of my mind.
The entirety of my body is saying,For Christ’s sake, just do it.My pupils are shot with lust and I’m trembling a bit too. In a good way. An adrenalized, motivated way.
Ineedthis to happen right now.
And it’ll only be sex.
It’s the wrong time for both of us to get into anything heavier.
Yeah, I can do this without getting all emo about it, for fuck’s sake.
Grabbing a couple of condoms from my wash kit, I shove them into my back pocket, then check my appearance and give myself one last definitive nod before opening the door and heading out of the bathroom.
Walking back into the living area, my heart pounding in my chest, I come to a screeching halt when I see her standing there waiting for me. She’s biting her lip and her fingers are twisted into her skirt. She’s the embodiment of explicit sexual need.
It’s such an intensely erotic visual my breath catches in my throat.
‘Jesus,’ I say, without thinking.
‘What?’
She looks suddenly worried, like she’s afraid I’ve changed my mind about doing this.
