‘Yeah? Like how?’
Kit shrugs and looks away, but I can tell from the way he’s keeping his lips clamped shut that he definitely has a suggestion, but isn’t sure he should share it with me.
It seems we’ve both put our walls up.
I want to get back to the flirty banter we were engaged in earlier, but I’m not sure how to do it.
‘Jesus, what just happened here?’ I blurt, throwing my hands up and showering water droplets into the air in front of me. ‘It was all going so well.’
‘Was it?’ His eyebrow is raised in amused derision now.
Which is fair enough.
‘No. I guess not,’ I say.
He flashes me a smile, which I can’t help but return.
He’s such a charismatic guy. It’s impossible not to be charmed by him.
‘Why do you think it didn’t work out with your ex?’ I ask, throwing the focus back onto him to give me a chance to get a handle on my see-sawing emotions.
He sits back in the tub, with his arms stretched out on either side of him along the rim, displaying the toned muscles in his arms to great effect. His brow is furrowed and he’s staring into the bubbling water as if he’s seriously considering my question.
After a moment of silence, where I wonder if I’ve gone too far in asking him about this right now, he finally looks at me again, his expression turning rueful.
‘She’s easily distracted and her ex snuck in under the radar and tempted her back. I guess she was partly with me because of the money and status I provided, and he came along offering her more. We had a blast when we first got together, but we weren’t seeing much of each other by the end because she was always away working. We’d started to drift.’
‘So why did you want to marry her?’
He blows out a long, low sigh and stares into the tub again. ‘I loved her. She’s a really cool, funny person. Exciting to be around when shewasaround. And I guess I thought it might cement our relationship and ground me or something. I’ve been feeling a bit untethered after offloading the app. So much of my self-worth and status was wrapped up in building then selling the business.’
I blink at him, trying to process what he’s telling me.
‘How did you think she was going to help with that “untetheredness” if she was away all the time?’ I ask, as gently as I can.
Clearly it doesn’t come out as tactfully as I’d intended because he lets out a snort and shakes his head in bemusement. ‘I don’t know. I guess I was more focused on how good she made me feel about myself when we were together.’
‘Because she’s cool and exciting and beautiful and she chose you?’
He looks up and catches my eye. ‘You reallyhaven’tlost that bluntness, have you?’
I shrug awkwardly in apology.
He waves a dismissive hand in the air. ‘Look, can we talk about something else? We’ve split up now so there’s no point in dissecting it.’
‘Sure.’ I show my palms in surrender. ‘I just thought it might help you make a better choice for your next partner if you knew why this one didn’t work out.’
‘Thanks, but I don’t need your help in analysing my bad decisions. I can do that for myself whilst shit-faced and alone.’
I suppress a smile. ‘Of course you can. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.’ I take a breath. ‘It’s just…’
‘Go on, Dasher, spit it out, I can tell you’re dying to bestow on me whatever wisdom you think I need to hear.’
‘I just wondered whether you do things because of the way you think they look to other people, rather than because they make you happy.’
‘That’s deep.’
‘Not really. Just a sixth sense I have about you.’
