‘Hello, Harry,’ Xavier said, bending down to look more closely at the tiny human in her arms, fighting back an intense surge of emotion that was threatening to engulf him.
Would his and Soli’s child be a boy? he wondered wildly, his heart thumping hard at the thought.
‘Where’s Soli?’ Harriet asked, as if sensing his turmoil.
‘She’s at home,’ he lied, standing up straight again, pain throbbing hard through his chest at the sound of her name.
‘I guess the two of you might be having your own little bundle of joy soon,’ Harriet said with a twinkle in her eye. ‘I always thought you’d make a fabulous father, despite what I said all those years ago.’ She appeared to swallow and blink, as if suddenly uncomfortable. ‘Listen, I just wanted to say sorry for the way I treated you back then,’ she went on before he could respond. ‘It was an incredibly selfish way to behave.’ Her smile was full of what looked like genuine regret now. ‘I was afraid you didn’t really love me for me, you just thought I ticked all the boxes for the sort of woman you thought you should be marrying.’ She hugged her son a little tighter to her. ‘But I guess it all worked out for the best. You and Soli looked so happy together when I saw you at the party.’
‘We were,’ he said, realising with a shock that he was actually speaking the truth now. He had been happy then. ‘And I forgive you for what happened with us. You were right; we wouldn’t have been good for each other. We probably would have made each other miserable.’
And he really meant that too.
Because he recognised now that Soli was right for him. She’d brought him back from the brink of despair and helped him realise that he wasn’t like his parents at all; that he was capable of loving someone other than himself. Soli made him happy because she truly cared about him, for him, just as Great-Aunt Faith had. The warmth that the two most important women in his life had bestowed on him had instinctively made him feel secure. Wanted.
Loved.
Which was what he’d really been trying to hang on to all along. Not the house, but the security he’d thought it had represented.
He turned away from Harriet to stare at the empty space beside him, remembering how he’d grown used to turning to find Soli smiling at him – and how it had felt like being given a shot of adrenaline straight to his heart.
His life was empty without her.
Dragging in a deep, fortifying breath, he turned to glance in the opposite direction, towards the rental units he owned on the High Street, suddenly so clearly knowing exactly what he wanted.
He wanted Soli back. And he wanted their child too. He wanted them to be a family – something he’d always longed for but had previously accepted he’d never have. Until now. Until her.
So what the hell was he doing still standing there?
Blood pulsing hard through his body, he said goodbye to Harriet and started off in the direction of the board game cafe. He was going to talk this thing out with Soli once and for all. Exactly what he was going to say, he wasn’t sure, but he felt confident it would come to him as soon as he set eyes on her.
He knew some sort of grand gesture was in order if he had any chance of winning her back though. He’d done too much damage with his selfish silence to just expect her to listen to his demands.
She was too self-possessed for that.
He needed to find a way to prove to her that he was genuinely sorry and that he meant it when he told her he couldn’t live without her. That he wanted them to be a real family, something he’d never had before – had never felt worthy of – but had ached for his whole life.
But what if she turned him down? What if she just laughed in his face?
His pace slowed as the idea rattled through him, and he stopped and leant a hand against the window of the nearest shop as a dark kind of fear seized him.
That was probably what he deserved after the way he’d treated her, but could he really put himself through that sort of humiliation again? It had nearly killed him the last time it had happened to him.
On the other hand, was he really prepared to lose everything he’d ever wanted because he was too afraid he might lose it later? That made no sense at all. His damn stupid pride was getting in the way of his happiness, and Soli’s too, and he couldn’t allow that to happen. She was the only person that had never let him down.
She loved him. That was abundantly clear.
And he knew without a doubt that she’d make an incredible mother to his child and the most loving, caring partner he could ever hope for.
Even if he struggled to get the loving thing right, he knew that Soli would be there the whole way, backing him up and evening him out. They would make a brilliant team.
He wanted her back. The woman who had helped him live again and appreciate everything he had for more than just its monetary worth.
The woman who made him happy.
The woman he loved.
He knew for absolute certain now that the house meant nothing to him if she wasn’t in it. It was just bricks and mortar, full of ghosts and regrets – an empty shell without her.
