Sawyer's arms wrapped around me, holding me close while his knot pulsed inside me, keeping us locked together. Kol pressed against my front, his body warm and solid, his lips pressing soft kisses to my forehead, my cheeks, the corners of my mouth, murmuring words I couldn't quite make out but felt in my chest anyway — praise and love and promises.
We stayed like that for long minutes, wrapped around each other, catching our breath, hearts gradually slowing to match each other's rhythms. Sawyer's knot gradually softened, and when he finally slipped free, I made a small sound of loss, feeling suddenly empty without him.
"Shh." He pressed a kiss to the mark he'd left on my shoulder, his voice softer than I'd ever heard it, tender in a way that made my heart ache. "I've got you. We've got you."
They arranged us on the bed — me in the middle, Sawyer curled behind me, his chest warm against my back, his arm draped possessively over my waist. Kol facing me from the front, his hand tracing gentle patterns on my hip, his golden eyes soft with satisfaction and something deeper — love, maybe. Belonging. Their scents mingled around me, earth and leather and sunshine and citrus, creating something that smelled like pack. Like home. Like forever.
"Are you okay?" Kol's voice was soft, concerned, his fingers never stopping their gentle exploration of my skin. "That was... a lot."
"I'm perfect." I smiled, reaching up to touch his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my fingertips, the slight stubble along his jaw. "I'm exactly where I want to be."
Sawyer was quiet behind me — too quiet. I could feel the tension creeping back into his body, the way his arms tightened around me almost unconsciously, the way his breathing had gone shallow.
"Sawyer?" I turned in his arms, facing him, searching his pale eyes in the moonlight. "What is it?"
He didn't answer at first, his jaw working like he was chewing on words he didn't want to say. His scent shifted, earth and leather threading with something darker — doubt, maybe. Fear. Something vulnerable that didn't fit on his hard, scarred face.
"I don't know if I deserve this." The admission came out rough, barely above a whisper, his eyes dropping from mine like he couldn't bear to see my reaction. "You. Any of this."
My heart cracked at the vulnerability in his voice, at the way this fierce, dangerous Alpha looked so lost and uncertain, like a boy instead of a man.
"Why would you think that?" I cupped his face, forcing him to meet my eyes, my thumbs stroking across his stubbled cheeks, feeling the tension in his jaw.
"Because of what I am." His voice was hollow, haunted, old pain bleeding through like blood through a bandage. "What I've done. The things I've seen. The things I've survived." His hands flexed on my hips, his eyes going distant, seeing things I couldn't see — battlefields, maybe. Losses. Horrors. "I'm broken, Aster. Damaged goods. And you deserve someone whole. Someone who doesn't wake up screaming from nightmares. Someone who doesn't know a hundred different ways to kill a man with his bare hands."
"Hey." My voice was sharp, cutting through his spiral. "Look at me." He did, reluctantly, his pale eyes swimming with something that looked terrifyingly like tears, like he was showing me something he'd never shown anyone, cracking himself open and letting me see the broken pieces inside.
"You deserve this." I said each word deliberately, making sure they landed, pressing them into his skin with my touch. "You deserve love and happiness and a pack that wants you. Your past doesn't disqualify you from those things. If anything, it makes you more deserving — you've survived so much, and you're still here, still fighting, still capable of loving. That's not weakness. That's strength."
"She's right." Kol's voice came from behind me, soft but certain, his hand reaching over to rest on Sawyer's arm, his golden eyes serious for once. "You're not broken, Sawyer. You'rejust... you're like that Japanese pottery thing. Kintsugi. Where they fix broken pieces with gold and it makes them more beautiful than before." He paused, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Your cracks aren't flaws. They're just proof that you survived."
Sawyer made a sound — something between a laugh and a sob — his forehead dropping to mine, his breath warm against my lips.
"I don't know how to do this." His voice cracked, raw with emotion he'd probably been holding back for years. "How to be soft. How to be loved. I've been hard for so long, keeping everyone out, building walls so high no one could climb them, and now you're both here and I don't—" He broke off, shaking his head. "I'm scared. Of wanting this too much. Of losing it."
"You deserve everything." Kol said firmly, his grip tightening on Sawyer's arm. "We all do. That's what pack means — we carry each other's broken pieces. We fill each other's cracks with gold."
I kissed Sawyer then — soft and slow, pouring everything I felt into it. Love and acceptance and a promise that I wasn't going anywhere, that none of us were, that this was real and permanent and his.
"That's not your decision to make." I whispered against his lips. "Whether you deserve this. It's mine. And I choose you. Broken pieces and all."
Something shifted in his expression — the walls crumbling, just a little, letting something vulnerable peek through. A crack in the armor he'd worn for so long, letting light in for the first time in maybe forever. He pulled me closer, burying his face in my hair, his whole body trembling with emotions he couldn't name.
"Okay." The word was barely audible, muffled against my hair. "Okay."
Kol wrapped himself around both of us from behind, his warmth pressing against my back, his arms reaching to include Sawyer in the embrace. We lay there tangled together, three people who'd all been told they were too much or not enough, finally finding where they belonged.
"I love you." I said it to both of them, feeling the truth of it settle into my bones, warm and permanent, like coming home. "Both of you. So much."
"Love you too." Kol's voice was warm, his smile pressed against my shoulder, his purr already rumbling to life in his chest. "More than I have words for."
Sawyer didn't say the words — maybe he couldn't, not yet — but he held me tighter, his lips pressing against my hair, his own purr rumbling to life in his chest, vibrating through both of us. And somehow, that said everything. We drifted into sleep wrapped around each other, a tangle of limbs and warmth and the mingled scents of pack.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ASTER
Four days had passed since that night with Sawyer and Kol. Four days of stolen glances and secret smiles. Four days of waking up tangled between warm bodies, of feeling their scents woven through my skin like threads of belonging. Four days of something that felt terrifyingly close to happiness — even with Easton's shadow looming over everything.
