“No. He didn’t.”
“Because he thought you’d keep me safe.”
“I will.” She set her jaw like I had really suggested she wasn’t capable.
We sat there, both staring at our plates. Something crawled beneath my skin. It was grief, fear, or anger… I couldn’t tell anymore. But it made me stupid enough to say what came next.
“What gives you the right to decide what safe means for me?”
Havoc’s head turned slowly, like she hadn’t just heard a mouse squeak but a pistol cock.
“Excuse me?”
My hands trembled under the table, but I didn’t look away. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I can handle. You just showed up and decidedthiswas how it was going to be.”
“I didn’t decide anything,” Havoc said, voice low. “Hedid. And believe it or not, I don’t give a damn if you like it. You’re alive. That’s what matters to me, because that’s what matters to him.”
“But what if I don’t want this? What if I want to fight?”
“You want to fight?” Havoc leaned in, dark eyes narrowing. “You can’t even look me in the eye without shaking.”
My spine stiffened. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“Yeah,” Havoc said with a crooked smile. “You are.”
After the dishes had been left in the sink to soak and Ghost had disappeared into the dark somewhere outside again, I lay on the bed Havoc had set up in the back room. The window was cracked just enough to let in the sound of wind and distant crickets. I stared at the ceiling, every nerve buzzing.
Havoc was terrifying. Not like Halo. He had carried his danger like a secret, but she wore hers like a badge. She was fire with no intention of warming anyone. But I knew one thing now… I wasn’t going to wait here like cargo; I wasn’t going to be passed on to be someone else’s mission.
As quietly as I could, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, slipped on my shoes, and pulled on a jacket. Ghost hadn’t locked the front door. I heard him go out, and never heard the latch. Havoc was in the shower; I heard it running. She underestimated me too. She wouldn’t expect me to run. Maybe in the past I wouldn’t have, but I wasn’t the same girl I had been yesterday, and tonight I was going to prove that.
I crept out the front door and marveled at howdarkit was out here. The woods were black and humming, frogs screamed in the trees, and the moon threw just enough silver light to see the trail that led away from the cabin. It was narrow, winding, swallowed in brush.
I went down the porch steps carefully, boots muffled in the dirt. It was hard to keep my breathing even when my heart was beating so quickly. Every instinct told me to turn back because it was safer inside. Havoc would realize I was gone, and she would find me before I ever got off this property. Ghost could be out here anywhere too, and I bet he didn’t missanything.
I was halfway down the gravel path when I heard it:click.It was the safety on a handgun, I just knew in my gut.
I stopped cold.
“You planning to go die alone,” Ghost said, “or you want company?”
I suddenly saw him, eyes adjusting to the darkness where he was leaning against a tree. The cigarette in his mouth glowed, cherry illuminating his face. His pistol wasn’t pointed at me, but it wasn’t holstered either.
“I’m not going back,” I said, voice steadier than I thought it would be.
“I didn’t say you had to,” he said, flicking the cigarette away. “I just want to know how much trouble I’m in before Havoc guts me in my sleep.”
“She doesn’t own me,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
“No,” Ghost said, “but shedoesown me… in that special, soul-crushing, limb-mutilating way that makes a man fear for his junk if he eventhinksabout pissing her off.”
I almost smiled, but it broke before it reached my lips. “I can’t just sit here,” I said, softer now. “Not while he’s out there. I can't… Iwon’thide.”
Ghost sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, I get it. You think running off is brave. But, dollface, it ain’t. It’s suicide.”
“You don’t know what this feels like.”
“I’ve watched a lot of people go to war thinking love would shield them. They all bled just like the rest of us. All it does is expand the damage.”
