We watch the ocean and the changing colors of the sky in silence as the sun sets behind us. Deciding I want to watch the sunsetwhile lying down, I start to move the repacked backpack off to the side and lie on my back, looking up at the sky.
Sam grabs both blankets and lays them on top of me, leaving half for him. He lies next to me, and I have to look at his handsome face: his strong jaw, his unbelievably long eyelashes, and his mouthwatering smile.
Even though this is our first proper date, there is no doubt in my mind that I’m in love with him. He’s everything I’ve wanted for years, and I feel so lucky to be here with him.
He catches me staring at him and smiles again. “You’re missing the view, Kitty Kat.”
Why does that nickname always feel like he’s saying more?
“I’m enjoying the view just fine.” I smile back at him and shift to my side so I can look at him properly. He leans into me and places his lips on mine. I love his soft kisses, but this one is desperate—a promise of more.
I turn onto my back again to give him better access, and he lies half on me as he deepens the kiss, his hand running up my waist and stopping just under my breast.I want him.
“Sam, I want you,” I moan into his mouth.
He pulls back and runs his hand through his hair. His eyes searching mine. “I want you, too, but I’m not going to take you here at the beach with all the sand and anyone who can walk by. You need to decide if we pack up and leave now so I can get you home and have my way with you, or finish watching this sunset?”
“Take me home,” I whisper into his ear before kissing his neck.
He shivers at the contact and jumps into action. We fold the blankets, and Sam shoves them unceremoniously into the backpack. I pick up our jackets as he carries the backpack. Grabbing my free hand in his, he leads me back to his motorcycle.
We put on our shoes when we get to the sidewalk, and Sam helps me with my helmet again before putting his own on. I put thebackpack on and climb onto the bike behind him like we’ve done this hundreds of times.
The 20 minutes back to my place are agonizing. I’m getting braver on Sam’s motorcycle and even take one hand away from his waist and run my fingers down his leg. He shivers at the contact, and it takes everything in me not to run my fingers along his length, knowing I’ll find him hard for me.
The third time I run my fingers along his thigh, he grabs my hand and wraps it around his waist again, holding it in place for a moment. I know it's his way of telling me to cut it out, so I behave and keep my hands on his stomach.
We finally make it back to my place, helmets in hand.
Sam spends the night devouring me like I’m his personal dessertbuffet.
Iwake up the next morning with Sam’s arms still wrapped around me. I don’t think I’ve ever slept naked before, but I feel confident next to Sam. As I listen to his deep breathing, I allow my mind to drift to last night.
All of a sudden, I feel nervous. Here I am, lying naked in bed, Sam at my back, his arm around my waist, and last night he told me he loved me for the second time.
He was falling asleep as the soft, quiet words fell from his lips. I’m still not sure if he realized what he said. Again.
Why can’t he just say it in a way that feels like he knows he’s saying it?
But once again, I didn’t say it back to him. I’ve loved Sam for so long that none of this seems real. I almost want to be cliché and pinch myself, but I hold back that urge.
Should I say it back? I know in every fiber of my being that I love Sam. But can I say it? It feels too vulnerable.I have to tell him.I need him to know that I feel the same way.
I still can’t remember if I told Ethan I loved him during that last phone call, and I can’t let this be another moment I question or regret.
Sam’s arms tighten around me. He kisses my neck, and in a moment of bravery, I say, “Sam?” I peek at him over my shoulder.
“Hmm?” His eyes are closed, and he looks so comfortable. Content.
“Did you mean it?” Sam’s eyes pop open as he moves up onto one arm, his other still draped over my waist. “You love me?”
He chuckles softly, “Yes. I love you, Kat. Always have. Always will.” He lies back down next to me and stares at the ceiling, one arm under his head, the other between us.
My voice is quiet, unsteady, as I speak the words aloud, “I love you, too.”
He looks at me in surprise and gives me a small, shy smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I repeat.
