Once I come down from my high, he drops his head to my shoulder. “That was….” I’m a little breathless. I chuckle slightly and move my hand to cup his length through his jeans.
He slowly lifts his head from my shoulder and smirks. He gives me a quick and chaste kiss. “I don’t expect anything, Kat. Watching you come undone at my touch, that was enough for me.”
I smile at him, grip his T-shirt, and start tugging at it so I can remove it. But he grips my hand and shakes his head.
He looks at me in horror, but it’s gone in a flash.
I don’t understand what just happened.
What did I do wrong?
I don’t get the chance to ask him because the doorbell rings, announcing the arrival of the pizza.
“I’ll get that,” he says too quickly as he kneels above me, creating distance between our bodies that I don’t want. He adjusts my bra and shirt, covering me, and leans over to place a soft kiss on my lips.
Without another word, Sam heads downstairs to greet the delivery person.
I don’t even know where to start with what just happened. I never meant to… I never meant foranyof that to happen. But Sam, shit.
I can still taste his lips on mine. Feel his mouth on my nipples. God, I feel the ghost of his hands on me,inme.
But why did he stop me, and why did he look terrified?
I’m still in stunned silence when Sam comes back upstairs—pizza, plates, and our sodas in hand.
“You ok, Kat?” His voice is laced with concern.
“Sam, I… I don’t know what to say.” I feel embarrassment flush across my cheeks. Looking down at my hands, I start picking at one of my nails.
“Do you regret what just happened?” His question surprises me, and I look into his eyes. They are wide, and he seems nervous about my answer.
“No.” It comes out small. “Not at all. I—it’s just, you seemed upset when I was taking off your shirt. I don’t want you to feel like I took advantage of you.” I shrug.
He barks out a laugh. “Youtake advantage ofme?” He sets the food on the coffee table in front of the couch. He sobers as he sits next to me. “I meant it when I said I want whatever you are willing to give me.” He takes my face in both of his hands and places a gentle kiss on my lips. “Kat, I wasn’t upset with you.”
He runs his hand through his hair and looks towards the TV hanging on the wall. When he finally looks at me again, I see the vulnerability in his expression.
“I haven’t exactly shown anyone my scars. Ethan and my dad have seen them, and the doctors and nurses, and my tattoo artist.” He adds the last part almost as an afterthought. “But, that’s it.” He reaches for my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine.
No one else? No friends or girlfriends?The thought surprises me. That trip was years ago. But now that he mentions it, I don’t think I’ve seen him in a tank top recently, and certainly haven’t seen him without a shirt.
I look down at our interlocked fingers and I’m in awe at how strong this man is in front of me. And yet, he’s shown me so many pieces of himself over the last few days. Vulnerable and emotional pieces. It makes me love him even more.
The thought terrifies me.
Sam’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “So, I wasn’t upset. I guess I’m just nervous about it. I—” he takes in a long breath and blows it out, “I don’t want you to see my scars and pity me or turn away from me.”
I cup his cheek with my free hand; my heart warms as he leans into it. “Sam, I will not pity you or turn away. But I also won’t push you to do something you aren’t comfortable with. I’m here when you’re ready.”
He sighs and turns his head, placing a kiss on my palm.
I drop my hand to my lap and look down at our interlocked fingers again. “Do you, um… do you want to continue what we started? I promise to leave your shirt alone.”
I keep my gaze averted from his face. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I don’t want to see his expression if he rejects me. I couldn’t take it after what we just did.
He gently lifts my chin with his index finger and searches my eyes before speaking, “Don’t think for a second that I don’t wantyou. I do. I wantallof you. I want to take my time with you. I want to taste every inch of you.” He runs his thumb along my lips before placing his hand on the back of the couch. “I don’t want to fuck this up again. So, I want to go slow, if that’s ok with you.”
I give him a slight nod in agreement.
