It's only then that I realize I’ve never been in his room. I suppose it makes sense. What reason would I have to go into Ethan’s bedroom?
Pulling the skateboard down from its hooks, I walk back to the bed and sit down, tracing my fingers along the green, blue, and black swirls and abstract images.
I made Mom take me to all the skateboard shops in Charleston until I found one that was completely blank on the underside. I spent weeks painting the board with intricate designs.
Of all the things I expected him to keep, this wasn’t one of them. I didn’t even think he liked it because I never saw him use it.
“You know he loved that board,” Sam’s soft voice startles me. I didn’t hear him come in.
“I never saw him use it. I thought he didn’t like it.” I keep my attention on the board. “But here it was, hanging on his wall.”
It looks just like it did when I gave it to him all those years ago. Gliding my fingers along the length of the skateboard, I finally meet Sam’s gaze. I turn the board over so he can see the side I spent hours painting. “It looks like it did the day I gave it to him.” My voice goes quiet when I mumble out, “I thought he threw it in his closet after his party and forgot about it.” I furrow my brow as I watch him.
“Kat.” Sam steps towards me, but stops and shoves his hands into his pockets. “He loved that board.” His voice is tentative as if he’s trying to calm a rabid animal. “He talked about how cool it was for so long after you gave it to him. He didn’t use it because he always knew he didn’t want to ruin it.” When I look up at him skeptically,he adds, “When he moved into this place, the first thing he bought were hooks to hang it up.”
My heart cracks and I can’t hold back the sobs as I clutch the skateboard to my chest like it's a life vest. Sam immediately crosses the room and pulls me up into his arms. It's a bit awkward with the skateboard still in my grasp. He takes it from me, still holding me with his free arm, and sets the board down. He wraps me in both arms again and holds me until my tears stop, running soothing patterns along my spine.
I hear my parents in the living room and straighten up, pulling away from Sam. Looking at his shirt, I see I’ve left it wet from my tears. “I’m making a bad habit out of getting you wet.” I sniffle.
“It's ok.” He gently wipes a stray tear from my cheek, giving me a subtle smile. “I have lots of shirts. You can get all of them wet if you need.” Sam winks at me, takes my hand, and leads me into the living room where everyone is gathered.
Why does it feel so comfortable, natural, for him to hold my hand?
When we walk into Ethan’s living room, Dad’s attention flickers from my hand interlaced with Sam’s and up to my eyes. He quirks an eyebrow in question, which I ignore.
Sam drops my hand as Mom reaches for him and pulls him into an embrace. “It’s good to see you, hun. It means a lot to me to have you here.” Sam takes a deep breath, relaxing into Mom’s arms.
She has always treated Sam like her own son. After his mom died, with how much time he spent at our house, my parents even bought a trundle bed to fit under Ethan’s bed, so Sam had a nice place to sleep.
I love that she embraces Sam the way she does. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was to grow up without his mom.
After we all say our hellos, we spend the next several hours going through each room. Mom looks through various documents we find, categorizing them based on bills and miscellaneous items.
Other than the paperwork, my parents don’t want to get rid of anything. So instead, we box up the food in the kitchen, and Sam and Dan take it to a local shelter.
By the time we’re done for the day, I’ve made a small pile of things I intend to take back to Columbia with me—the skateboard at the top of the pile.
FifteenYears Old
“God, I needed this,” Liv groans as she stretches out on her beach towel. We’re wearing matching hot pink bikinis with black polka dots. It’s the middle of the summer. Liv has a perfect tan, and her blond hair looks lighter than it does in the winter.
We’re both lying on our stomachs watching Ethan and Sam surf. Or try to surf. They haven’t figured out how to stay up on their boards yet.
My focus stays on Sam. He’s started developing muscles, and well, they are very nice to look at. His hair is short and looks spiky from the water. He is so cute, and I can’t seem to look away from him.
“Kat, who are you staring at?” Liv follows my gaze, “Oh, Sam. Wait, Sam? Are you crushing on Sam?” Her voice is high-pitched with shock.
I smack her arm lightly and look around us to ensure no one is listening. The last thing I want is for any of the group we're here with to go telling Sam that I have a crush on him.
Seeing that no one is close enough to overhear our conversation, I finally look at her. She's looking at me with impatience. “Yes,” I whisper to her. “I don’t know when it started, but look at him… he’s hot!”
“I guess it's kind of inevitable since he's always at your house.”
“Please don’t say anything. I would be so embarrassed. Oh my God, and if Ethan finds out? He would never stop teasingme about it.”
“Your secret is safe with me. Do you think you’ll try to get with him?”
“I don’t know.” I groan into my towel. “He’s Ethan’s best friend. Wouldn’t that be weird?”
