Royal is already pulling on his clothes, the expression on his face matches mine. He’s furious. “Is he okay?” is the first question he asks, and I realise I’m in love with him. Not the love I thought I always had for him, this is deep full-on never want to be without him love.
“No. I can’t believe the fucker hit him. It was going so well for them. Finn was convinced that he’d finally find his forever man.”
“Is Finn in the lifestyle?”
This surprises me, and I’m not sure where he’s going with this. “He is, but he’s the Dom. I don’t know much about Matt, but I think he’s quite new to the scene. Finn said they haven’t played at the club yet, but Matt was enjoying submitting.”
“Do you know his surname?” Royal asks as he ties the laces on his Vans. This makes me understand his question, he wants to know if he can get information from Finn’s club.
“No, but I can get it for you. Are you okay with me going? I don’t know how long it will be for, hopefully only a few days. I can make sure Finn’s changed the locks and told Matt never to contact him again.”
“Your friend needs you. I’m proud that your first thought is to go to him. I wish I could come, but it’s a crazy time at school. The exams are coming up, and I’m needed.”
Oh, and there’s my heart falling deeper still.
We spend the next hour getting my stuff from the Airbnb to the new flat. Royal promises me he’ll get it all sorted. He’ll make sure it’s empty and clean so I can hand it back to the owner the way it should be.
Royal puts my case in the back of my car, then with the door shut, presses me against it, caging me in. After a thorough kissing, he pulls away and lets me get in the driver’s seat. “Call me as soon as you get there. I need to make sure you’re okay as well as your friend.” It looks like he wants to say something else, something more. Then it’s gone, and he pecks my mouth again. “See you soon.”
I pull up on Finn’s drive, parking behind his car. I’m tired and hungry. It’s been a long time since the dinner at Kip and Robin’s. I quickly call Royal; he picks up on the first ring. “I’m here. I haven’t gone inside yet.”
“Thanks, baby. I don’t expect constant updates. I know Finn is your priority but call me in the evenings or at night. I still want to hear your voice.”
I agree, and we say goodbye. I grab my case from the boot and lock the car. I look around. I’ve only seen silly selfies from Finn with Matt in them. I’m not sure if I would recognise him if he was hanging around. I knock on the door and wait; Finn opens the door and starts to cry again. He’s got a black eye and a swollen jaw.
“Oh hun, come here,” I say as I step inside and hug him hard against me. “I’m going to kill the bastard.”
“I’m so sorry I’ve dragged you away from Royal. I know things are getting serious for you, but I’m so glad you’re here.”
We spend the rest of the day catching up and avoiding the elephant in the room. I know he’ll tell me when he’s ready. We order in food, and it’s me who collects it at the door. I don’t want Finn to be seen. It’s late when we finally stop talking and decide to go to bed.
“Try and get some sleep, Finn. We can sort it all out in the morning.” I kiss his forehead, and he goes into his room. I’m hoping the few glasses of wine we had will help. It’s going to help me. I shoot a text to Royal; he’s got work tomorrow and he’s probably already asleep.
I’ve been here a week now. Finn’s bruises have faded enough for him to feel confident leaving the house. We’ve spent the time catching up and working. It seems that Finn wants to forget all about Matt and concentrate on work. I’ve let him get away with it, but it’s time to start talking. I miss Royal so much, and I want to go home, but I can’t until this is all sorted.
We walk into our local pub; I look around and breathe in the smell of the roast dinners they offer all day. My stomach rumbles happily. There’s an empty table, over by the window. “Is that one okay?”
Finn nods, but instead of walking to it, he heads to the bar. “Your usual?” he asks me and I nod and carry on to the table. The large chalkboard on the opposite wall shows the menu. I’m not interested in anything but the full roast dinner, choosing the beef over the lamb or chicken.
I leave my coat at the table, not that it’s busy enough for someone to take the table. It’s been our local for years now and never gets too busy. “Are you ordering food?” I ask Finn. “I’ll have the roast beef.”
“Good to see you again, Memphis,” Meg, the landlady says. “Was it a good break away from here?”
“It was. It’s nice to be home again; I missed the food here too much.” I laugh, grateful it sounds genuine. I don’t want to go into the details of my life.
We take our drinks and go back to the table. Finn sits down first and takes a drink from his pint. I know what’s going to happen now. It’s time for him to explain what the fuck went so badly wrong. I sit down opposite him. “I know we’ve talked about him, but you haven’t said why he hit you. We both know he should never have done it.”
“I don’t want to. It’s over and done with, and I’m never going to see him again, so I don’t see why it matters.” There’s a defiance in his voice I’m not used to, and I’m sure he’s hiding something. What could have been bad enough for it to end up with Finn being hurt.
A rogue thought jumps into my head. Does this have something to do with me? “Is this because of me?”
One of the bartenders arrives with our food, breaking up the conversation. Finn looks grateful for the reprieve. We eat, not letting the delicious food go to waste over an uncomfortable conversation.
When our plates are empty, I’m straight back on it. “So, what happened?” I ask, not giving him an option to get out if it now.
“Honestly, I don’t know what I said. We were messing around and talking about all the stupid things we got up to at uni. I told him about us on our first Pride march, and he said all I talked about was you, and maybe I should be fucking you not him. I joked and said we tried it once, and it was a disaster. He flew off the handle, accusing me of being in love with you, that is why I talk about you all the time. He hit me before I even knew what was happening.”
“Did he say anything afterwards? Apologise? Promise to never do it again?” How can someone switch from a normal, fun conversation to anger that quickly, I don’t understand. Even Simon when he was being a total dick never hit me.
