After he holds his hand out for me, I slip my smaller one into his grip and let him lead me out. “Where would you like to go to eat?”
“The King’s Head? They do decent grub there, don’t they?” I ask as we make our way out of the gym. Knox gives us a wave as we go. “I like Knox; he’s a good man. How does he swing?”
“He is, and you’ll have to ask him. We don’t tell each other everything.”
“I could see how popular you are at the picnic—the littles love you.” I grin at him as he tries to hide his.
He doesn’t reply, of course, because he knows it’s the truth. He does open the door of his car for me, then pauses. “Is your car here?”
I nod my head. “Yes, it’s over there. Where did you go this morning?”
“I went to see another of my brothers, Saint, this time,” he qualifies. “He was very enlightening. Well, it was Noah who did most of the talking. In other words, called me out for the same thing you did. The fact that we have no idea how to have a relationship.”
“I like Noah. We’ve hung out a few times, normally when Saint’s working late.” The drive through the town is slow, the Saturday traffic making us crawl through the myriad traffic lights the town planner thought we needed. My stomach makes an embarrassing growl as we finally make it and park. “Are Saint and Noah coming too?” He sounded like he wanted us to sort things out, and that’s normally done alone.
“No, it’s just easier to park, and he won’t mind. The pub is just down the road.”
The pub is busy, and Royal takes my hand again, leading me through the bar to the back and an empty table. “It’s alwaysquieter back here,” he explains. “We can talk more. What do you want to drink?”
I tell him, then sit in one of the chairs and watch him walk away. His arse is perfection in tight jeans that cup the firm muscles. He must be a teenager’s wet dream, I wonder if this how he keeps his students in order, by just being so damn hot?
What will the rest of the day bring? Maybe what should we have done last night: fucked like rabbits to get the initial burn of lust out of the way? Had a scene? No, we’re not there yet, although maybe a night at Bound would be a good place to start. We’ve seen each other in that environment. He’s obviously an exhibitionist and enjoys being watched. That’s not new to me. Simon was into that and always got so turned on watching me play with other boys when all I was wearing was a cage. But full-on sex in front of everyone wasn’t his style. He enjoyed edging me until I was almost in tears. The fucking took place when he got me home.
Is being fucked in full view hot? Watching it definitely is, so yeah maybe I’d like it. Am I brave enough to let him?
“There’s a lot thinking going on. What’s on your mind?” Royal puts his pint on the table and passes me my glass of Merlot.
“You,” I state. “And if I could let you fuck me in front of the club members.”
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, obviously not expecting that, but a smirk appears, quickly quashing the surprise. “And is that something you like? Or, you haven’t done it and want to try?”
“No, and maybe. It wasn’t something my ex liked.” I sip my wine, and it’s surprisingly good for a high street pub like this.
“There’s an easy way to find out, maybe start with something less full on than fucking. I’m not against trying it out. Just let me know.” It’s his turn to take a swig of his beer. “I’mgoing to need some pointers from you about how we do this. I don’t want to fuck it up. I think we could be good together, but if it doesn’t work out, if it turns out that it’s not working, please don’t run again. And not just from my bed but from here, this place.”
The server comes up with two plates of food, just easy burgers and fries. For a moment I’m speechless, then my little reminds me that I’m with my Daddy, and he knows what I want. I wait until we’re alone again. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome. Be careful, the fries are very hot.” He smiles and hands me my cutlery.
I start to eat and listen as Royal talks about Kip and Robin, and how we should go to the Sunday lunch tomorrow. “I think it will make Pops’ day to see you again.”
I try to slip into the boy, the younger version I usually crave to be, but this is weird. It’s just not meshing the way I expected. It’s stilted, as if we’re trying too hard. I’m not getting Daddy vibes from him; all I’m feeling is the man I knew all those years ago. Yes, he’s hot, and yes, I find him sexy, but I don’t feel the Daddy. Yesterday was all a hyped-up dream of what I wanted him to be, and I got it wrong. We should’ve had sex, lots of noisy, sweaty sex. Maybe the Daddy and boy connection would’ve developed from that, but this is forced. It’s not what I want. I think I’ve finally realised that Royal has been a prince, a king, in my head for ten years, I let my infatuation for him grow and let his pedestal get higher and higher. For all these years, I’ve carried a torch of what I thought his Daddy would be like with me. Now, I can’t even see his Daddy, all I see Royal, the man that was like a brother to me when I lived with Kip and Robin.
I put my knife and fork down as a sigh escapes me. Royal stops talking, and I realise I don’t know what he was saying. I’ve already tuned out. “Royal.” I wait for him to look at me. “I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling this.”
“This what?” His forehead creases in confusion, and I hate it.
“Me and you. I don’t feel it. It’s too much like the old times. I know you’re an amazing Daddy and Dom, but right now, this is me and my brother having lunch. I think I’m going to go home.” I stand up, pushing my chair away from me and stepping around the table. Leaning down, I press a kiss to his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
I all but scurry out of the pub, dodging other patrons to get to the street before he can catch up with me. If he even tries to catch me, that is.
I look up and down the pavement, wondering which is the quickest way to get back to the Airbnb. I head off in the right direction, letting the fresh air clear my jumbled mind. I’ve never had this happen to me; I’ve always been able to be my little, and later, my boy. Even away from Royal, I’m not getting anything. This is so stupid. I stomp my way back to the Airbnb, trying to forget the hurt and confused expression on Royal’s face. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m messing him around again. Talk to him, Memphis, just fucking talk to him. Of course, I don’t because I’m a dickhead.
It takes me the rest of the afternoon to finally call him, but it goes straight to voicemail. I keep trying, but he doesn’t answer. In the end I call Noah, maybe he or Saint know where he is.
I get my answer, and I know I’ve totally wrecked any chance I had of being with him.
I stomp into Bound, ready for a night of fucking. I don’t even want to be a Daddy tonight. I’m letting the Dom in me take over, and that means I want a tight and willing hole to pound into. Fuck Memphis. I can’t be doing this with him and him not feeling anything. That’s total bollocks that he just changed his mind. It’s not as if I didn’t tell him to own up if I’m not what he wants, but he didn’t even fucking try.
