Every time I saw him in the dining hall or the quad, I’d start toward him, instinct taking over, my body remembering the night before, his lips, his mouth. And every time, he’d turn away, find his friends, pull his phone out, and suddenly get really interested in a conversation that didn’t involve me.
I waited for him to call me over and introduce me, but in the end, I just stood there, gawking like a fool.
I tried to convince myself it didn’t hurt, but it hurt like hell.
By the third day, I finally confronted him. He’d slipped into our dorm again late, with that guilty look in his eyes and abackpack still slung over one shoulder. I was already under the covers, pretending not to care.
“Why won’t you look at me in public?” I asked, voice barely above a whisper.
He froze mid-step.
“I mean, I know we’re not… a thing. Or maybe we are. I don’t know. But this thing we’re doing? It doesn’t have to feel like I’m your dirty little secret.”
Dare’s face crumpled in that way it did when he wanted to argue but couldn’t. He dropped his bag, ran both hands through his hair, and sat on the edge of my bed without looking at me.
“I’m not ashamed of you, Tru,” he said eventually. “I’m scared.”
The Dare I’d come to know over the last few years would never have admitted that.He’s trying. Changing.“Of what?”
“Of what it’ll mean. To say it out loud. That I’m not who everyone thinks I am. That I’m not the perfect son, the golden boy, the future lawyer with a hot girlfriend. That I’m… me. And I want you. I’vealwayswanted you.”
My heart ached at the rawness in his voice. “You think I haven’t been scared this whole time? You think coming out was easy for me? I still walk into rooms and wonder who’s gonna look at me differently or bully me.”
Dare's head snapped up, and he glared furiously. “Who’s bullied you?” he demanded.
“Just you,” I admitted quietly, almost amused at his outrage. He had the decency to look ashamed before his smile turned wicked.
“Well, that’s different. It’s us. You’re mine to torture.” Hishand moved to my hip. “And to kiss.” Dare tugged the blanket down, revealing my bare shoulder. He pressed a kiss there. He lay down beside me, staring softly into my eyes. “But you did it. You were brave.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t feel brave. I just got tired of hiding.”
He exhaled and reached for my hand beneath the covers. “I’m not ready yet.”
I nodded slowly. “Then I’ll wait. But I want you to know, hiding hurts.”
“I know.” He laughed harshly. “Trust me, I’ve been doing it for years. It makes you feel dead inside.”
He didn’t say anything else. Just leaned in and kissed me slowly, apologetically, making a promise he hadn’t learned how to keep. And then he stayed the night again, curled around me like I was the only place he felt safe.
CHAPTER 30
DARE
Turns out, if you treat someone like a secret, they’ll eventually treat you like one too.
The first timewe crossed the line again, it was raining.
Not in the poetic, movie-scene way, just fat, ugly drops hammering the concrete and fogging up the windows of the car as if the sky couldn’t keep its shit together.
We weren’t supposed to be alone together. Tru had followed me out after dinner, barely saying a word before slamming the passenger door shut. His hair was damp, skin flushed from the cold. I couldn’t even look at him without feeling it, all of it. The guilt, the need, the damnachethat lived in my chest whenever he got too close.
He said, “I’m not doing this anymore.” And I believed him until he kissed me.
Or maybe I kissed him. I honestly didn’t know. It justhappened, too fast and too much and too fucking familiar.Lips crashing, hands tangled in damp clothes, our bodies twisted toward each other like magnets, finally giving up the fight.
I gripped the back of his neck, drowning in his taste. He bit my lower lip. Hard. I groaned, and then I shoved him away. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to.
“Don’t,” I said. But my hands were still on him. My forehead pressed to his. My breath mixed with his in the confined space.
