How could he pretend he hadn’t kissed me like he meant it? That he hadn’t grabbed my shirt and pulled me in like he’d die if he didn’t. I stood there feeling small and foolish, wondering how he could carry on like that.
Why was it always me staring after him, hoping—desperately, pathetically—that he’d turn around?
And for the second time in my life, Darien Carter left me standing in the wreckage of his mistakes and regrets.
It was nearly two a.m. when the door creaked open.
I heard it even through sleep, a whisper brushing the edge of a dream. My eyes cracked open in the dark, blurry with confusion, and for a second, I thought I was imagining the figure that moved across the room. But then the mattress dipped behind me, slow and cautious, and I felt the weight of him settle like a truth I’d spent years trying not to believe.
Dare didn’t say anything right away. He just lay there, not touching me, not even breathing loudly. But the air changed. I could feel him, warm and real and heartbreakingly close. And then, in a voice so raw it sounded like it hurt to speak, he said,
“I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen.”
I went still.
He swallowed loudly behind me. “I didn’t know it then, not really. I just knew I wanted you around all the time. Knew Ihated it when you looked at other people. When you smiled at them the way you smiled at me.”
He let out a slow, shaking breath. “I ruined it. I ruined us. I pushed you away and acted like I hated you because I didn’t know what the fuck else to do with all these feelings. It was too big. And I thought if I buried it deep enough, maybe I could kill it.”
He paused, voice breaking. “But it didn’t die. It just…sat there. Grew teeth. And the sharper they got, the worse the bite was gonna be when the jaws of truth finally closed around my throat. I was afraid—so damn afraid—of my dad, my brother, other people. I had no idea the most painful bite was going to be from you. Losing you, watching you suffer because of my cowardice. Or… seeing you move on.”
I rolled slowly, facing him in the dark. His face was barely lit by the sliver of moonlight slipping through the blinds, but I could see enough. His eyes were red, his cheeks blotchy, like he’d cried before he even got here.
“I think about that kiss in the closet every day,” he whispered. “I think about how you looked at me, and how I left you alone in it. And then I kissed you again last night, and for a second, I let myself believe there was still a chance. That maybe I didn’t screw it all up forever.”
I reached for him without thinking, my hand curling into his shirt. “You didn’t.”
He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was real. And then, time slowed down, and he kissed me. No audience, no dare. Just two boys in the dark trying to unbreak something.
His lips were soft and trembling against mine, as if he wasstill afraid I’d vanish. I kissed him back like I’d been holding my breath for years and finally remembered how to live. There was no tongue, no lust, just a joining of body heat and longing. An apology and an understanding.
When we finally pulled apart, he curled into me instinctively, his body remembering the shape of mine. And I held him because I’d been waiting years to do so again. It felt like childhood. When we’d sneak into each other’s sleeping bags and whisper secrets until we fell asleep. It felt like home.
The torn halves of my heart mended together.
And for the first time in years, I didn’t dream of losing him. I dreamed of finding him, again.
CHAPTER 29
TRU
For one perfect second, I forgot we were a tragedy in the making.
I wokewith his breath on my face. I lay there for the longest time, staring at his closed lids, his long, dark lashes, his perfect, strong nose, counting the freckles and moles that had darkened from the sun. He had four new ones from spending the summer on the soccer field.
He’d draped his arm over my chest, hitched his knee over my thigh, and was curled into me like I was his safe space. I never wanted to move.
Dare came awake slowly, first shifting his leg, then his eyes fluttered open one at a time. He focused on my face with a smile. I didn’t see one regret in his eyes.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Good morning.”
He moved his knee again, accidentally brushingover the hardness between my legs, and I bit back my groan. He saw it in my face, felt it beneath his leg, and we both broke out in laughter.
“Yeah, I’m having the same problem,” Dare admitted.
It was so bizarre. Unfathomable. Darien Carter, my stepbrother, the boy who ruined our friendship over a kiss, admitted I’d made him hard.
