PROLOGUE
TRUEN
Looking back,it’s hard to know the exact moment childhood ends, and everything after begins. Sometimes it’s quiet, like sand slipping through your fingers. Or it can be loud, like a door slamming shut.
For me, it was neither.
It was a whisper in the dark.
It was my best friend grinning in the glow of my night-light, not realizing he’d already lit the fuse.
We were thirteen, lying awake the night before the party that would change everything. Dare was sprawled sideways across my bed, arms flung wide like he owned the room, or like he ownedme,though neither of us knew it yet.
“Tomorrow’s gonna be epic,” he said, too wired to sleep. “Everyone will be there. Maybe we’ll even get dared to kiss someone.”
I remember the way my stomach clenched so hard it hurt. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to stand in acrowded living room while a stupid bottle spun and told me who I was supposed to want. But Dare was going, and I would’ve followed him into fire if he’d asked.
Then he said casually, carelessly, not knowing it would live in my head for years afterward, “What if we kiss tomorrow?” He raised his head, finding my eyes in the darkness. “Our first kiss.”
My heart stopped. Long enough to imagine it. Long enough to hope. For one perfect, terrifying second, I thought he meant me. That maybe he felt the same sharp, impossible thing thrumming under his skin. But Dare kept talking, rolling right past the landmine he’d dropped in my chest.
“I mean, not us,” he added quickly, snorting. “Like, with girls. You know how they are with those games. Spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven… all that.”
Girls. My stomach cramped so hard I had to press my fist against it. I didn’t want to kiss girls. I didn’t want to kiss anyone, except maybe him.
“You never know who that bottle could land on,” Dare said, his voice dipping low, like the night had swallowed up his bravado. “Could be anyone.”
I remember thinking,maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it were him.
In the dark, his hand found mine. Just a brush of fingers, a thoughtless thing. But it felt deliberate. It felt dangerous. “Something big’s coming, Tru,” he whispered. “Something life-changing. I can feel it. Can’t you?”
I could. I just didn’t know it would be the end of everything we were, and the start of everything we’d become.
PART ONE: BEFORE THE BREAK
CHAPTER 1
TRUEN
The boy who would ruin my life showed up to practice and smiled like he’d already been chosen as the striker.
He hadthe fanciest cleats I’d ever seen. They were white, with no scuffs, and had gold accents that flashed every time he moved. His socks were pulled up perfectly, his jersey didn’t wrinkle when he ran, and he walked confidently, assured he’d already earned a spot.
I sat alone on the edge of the bench, tying and untying the same knot in my laces, stomach tight, trying to breathe like this wasn’t a big deal and I wasn’t already counting how many ways I was about to humiliate myself in front of total strangers.
Then the boy glanced my way. Just for a second. A flicker. Not even a smile. But it was enough to make me look away fast and pretend I hadn’t been watching him at all.
The sun was already brutal, though it wasn’t even noon. The grass steamed, and the humid air smelled like fresh-cutblades and Gatorade. I squinted into the heat waves coming off the blacktop, hoping for a cloud that never showed.
“Alright, listen up!” Coach’s whistle shrieked across the field. “Drills in pairs. We’re working on control and accuracy today. You don’t need to show off. Just pass and move.”
The other boys scrambled into loose lines, already pairing off. My heart did that thing it always did—skipping, stuttering, dreading. I hated being the last one picked, but I always was.
Then the boy with the gold-trimmed cleats turned around with the ball tucked under his arm. Coach pointed directly at me.
“You. With Carter.”
Carter. That was his name… well, last name, since that’s all Coach used.
