I pick up his hand and kiss the back of it. “I don’t either. I’m glad you kidnapped me. Just as I’ll be glad when you tell me whose orders you were working under.”
He sighs, pulling his hand out of my grip. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Nope,” I answer. “I’m not. But it’s okay, I’m not going to push. Not yet, anyway.”
“You’re not?”
“The doctor said you need to rest for twenty-four hours,” I remind him. It’s almost been that now, but I’m content to give him a little more time. He’s safe. So long as he’s with me, no one can hurt him.
Ansel’s lips twitch. “Do blow jobs count as resting?”
I survey his sleepy lids and relaxed posture. “You seem perfectly rested right now.” That makes him laugh, and I add, “We still have a few hours left for you to lounge, so why don’t you eat up, then you can tell me your favorite film. Wylder’s got a theater downstairs with a real popcorn machine and everything. I have one at my place too, but mine is better.”
“Of course you do. Next you’ll be telling me there’s a bowling alley too.”
I nod earnestly. “There is. Did you want to do that instead?”
His eyes widen. “I was joking. Oh my god.”
Ansel’s shock reminds me that this isn’t the life he’s used to. That’s okay. If I get my way, and I always do, he’ll become used to it fast enough. “I’m not. But I think a film will be better for your head. A quiet film. We can bowl another time.”
Ansel fiddles with a button on my shirt, not meeting my eyes. “Did you get my phone back?”
“No, butterfly.” He sags in disappointment, and I clasp the back of his neck to comfort him. “I did message Neo though, to let him know that you’re safe. That’ll buy us three more days.”
“Then what?” he whispers. “What happens then? Will you let me go?”
I falter. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let Ansel go. Even if he doesn’t want me, I’ll probably end up stalking him. It’s not healthy, but it’s the truth. “It depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether or not you’ll be safe,” I say bluntly. “I’m not risking you. If I don’t know the threat against you has been fully neutralized, then I’m not letting you out of my sight. It’s as simple as that.”
He wrings his hands together. “I don’t understand. Why are you so determined to keep me safe? Why do you even like me? None of this makes sense.”
I understand his confusion. I do. I know I’m not like most people. This obsessive, possessive behavior…it isn’t normal. Well, it’s normal for me. Honestly, even if I could change, I wouldn’t want to. Why should I, when it makes me feel this way about Ansel? “It doesn’t have to make sense. Do you like me?”
Ansel flushes, going back to the shirt button again. “I mean…yeah. Of course I do. You’re slightly insane, and I never thought that would do it for me, but apparently it works.”
“Then don’t overthink it,” I say simply. “I like you, Ansel. You intrigue me. No one’s captured my interest before like you have. Doyou think I let just anyone fuck my throat like you did?” He groans, and I jump up, handing him his underwear and jeans. “I never let anyone in, butterfly, except you.”
He blinks up at me, his gaze slightly hazy. “Oh.”
I hold his gaze as I bare myself. “It’s going to be hard for me to look anywhere else.”
Ansel’s hand is trembling as he slides it into mine. “Then don’t.”
14
CADE
The blow job, coupled with the movie, puts him right back to sleep, but I don’t mind it. I just hold him and inhale him, thinking about what I’ll do to the people who got him into this mess. How I plan on using those knives in my collection to tear them apart.
I’d like to hear them scream.
I stroke Ansel’s back, idly wondering if this side of me might scare him. Sounds stupid, given how we met, but Ansel isn’t like me. He isn’t built for this life.
The terror on his face as Samson held a gun to his head hasn’t left me. It haunts me every time I close my eyes.
