When he pulls away, I sigh.
“I want more than just that.”
“Later, butterfly. You need to sleep, rest, heal, and when you’re better, we can do all the things.”
“Promise?” I let out a yawn, realizing I’m more tired than I thought.
“I promise.”
Cade’s still beside me when I wake up again. From the pillow crease on his face, I’m guessing he had a nap too. Good. He looks like he hasn’t slept well in days.
He probably hasn’t, given you broke his heart and then got kidnapped.
Ah. Cade hasn’t brought that up yet, but we should talk about it.
“How are you feeling?” he asks softly, smoothing some hair away from my face.
“Okay. To be honest, I’m surprised I’m not in more pain.”
“Dr. Ramsey gave you another injection while you slept,” Cade tells me. “We’re trying to keep ahead of the pain to keep it more manageable.”
That’s smart; for physical pain, at least. But the emotional stuff? That’s the kind you need to confront head-on, not leaving any room for it to spread and fester. Ignoring it can lead to it becoming a cancer, rotting your insides until there’s nothing left.
Which is why I say what I do next. “I’m sorry I broke up with you, and for everything I said, Cade. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”
His brow furrows. “We don’t have to talk about that right now.”
“We do,” I sigh. I want to reach out and touch him, but there’s no way my hands are up to that. Instead, I wriggle forward until my forehead is pressed to his. “I didn’t want to hurt you or break your heart, and I’m so fucking sorry that I did.”
“I read your letter. I understand why you did it.” Cade exhales slowly. “Don’t get me wrong, I fucking hate that you didn’t just tell me what was going on…but I understand it.”
Relief pulses through me. “You do?”
“Yes. The house was bugged. You’d seen multiple photos of me with my life being threatened. On top of that, they threatened to hurt everyone connected to both me and you. It’s no surprise that youreacted that way. Also, maybe if I’d been more open about how…capable I am, it might’ve changed things.”
“Why weren’t you more open with me about it all?”
He strokes my hair out of my eyes. “I was terrified of scaring you off, Ansel.”
“Never,” I vow. “That can never happen. Even when I did walk away, it truly wasn’t because of you. I swear, Cade, if I could’ve come up with something different, I would have. Especially what I said about your dad. You’renothinglike him. At all. He spent his time tearing you down, while you spend yours lifting me up. I didn’t mean it, I swear.”
“I know.” His eyes slide away from mine. “It’s just… You know what? Forget it. It’s not important.”
“No,” I say softly. “It is. Tell me what it is. I don’t want any secrets between us anymore. That includes you not sharing if something’s upset you.”
Cade sighs. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me in the alley. Couldn’t you have whispered something to me? Or outside your house?”
“I couldn’t risk it. Cade, they had a gun trained on you both those times.”
His eyes widen in shock. “What the fuck?”
I nod rapidly, ignoring how it sends waves of pain through me. “Yeah. There was a red dot on you. I couldn’t risk it. I wouldn’t. I’d rather break your heart and risk my life than risk yours.”
For the first time ever, I think I’ve rendered Cade speechless. His throat bobs a few times before he’s finally able to speak. “Don’t ever risk yourself for me again.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay, let’s turn this around. If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?”
I can tell he’s gearing up to argue with me, but he deflates suddenly when he realizes it’s pointless. “The same. Fuck me, I hate even the thought of it, but the same. If I knew someone had a weapon trained on you, I’d do whatever was necessary to guarantee your safety.”
