My father’s words come roaring back to me, and I can’t help but stutter. “B-but…but why? What did I do? We were fine just a few minutes ago!”
Ansel makes a choking, sobbing noise as he shakes his head vehemently. “Nothing, Titan. Nothing at all. This is about me. Not you.”
That’s not true. Fuck, I hate that I can tell when he’s lying to me. I wish I didn’t know him so well. Maybe it’d make this easier.
Fuck that. Nothing could make getting my heart broken easier.
The other hand falls. They both hang limply at my sides. My brain is screaming at me to grab him. To throw him over my shoulder and run away. To hell with the consequences.
But my heart…it’s watching Ansel closely. It’s noting the conviction on his face. It’s seeing the endless tears tracking down his cheeks. It’s hearing the broken cadence of his plea. “Please. Let me go. I don’t want you with me. I don’t want you around.”
I always knew I couldn’t say no to him. I just didn’t realize that meant not saying no to him walking away from me.
That doesn’t mean I’ll fight fair though. “I can’t let you leave me. I love you.”
He crumples back against the wall as if I’ve struck him. His shoulders are heaving with the sobs that are racking him. “You shouldn’t love me, Cade. Nothing good comes from being associated with me.”
I grab his hand and hold it to my chest. “That’s not true. The way I feel about you is good. The way you makemefeel is good. That’s all that matters, isn’t it? Everything else is just filler.”
But he’s shaking his head and gently pulling his hand from my grip. “I wish it were that simple.”
“It is. It can be. You just have to let it.”
“I can’t.”
“Then I don’t understand!” I’m angry again, hands tugging at my hair as I pace backward a few steps. “What’s stopping you? Why can’t we just be together?”
His throat bobs. “I wish I could explain. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
“Then stop this,” I whisper, closing the gap between us. “Because this is hurting me. It’s fucking killing me. You’re telling me we can’t be together, that I need to let you leave, but you won’t tell me why. And you think that’s not hurting me. I just told you I love you!”
He stares over my shoulder again. “If you love me, you’ll let me leave and you won’t follow.”
I stagger back, my hand going to my chest. “You can’t ask that of me.”
“I just did.”
There’s a thickness in my throat, one I haven’t felt since I was a small child.
“Don’t cry or I’ll beat you bloody.”
“I don’t understand. Everything was fine between us. We were literally laughing and getting coffee. What the fuck happened?”
“Nothing.” Another lie, and a bad one at that. “But I need to go, and you need to let me.”
I slam my fist on the wall in frustration. “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
“There’s nothing going on.” His voice is hollow now. Resigned. “I just realized this can’t continue. We’ve been living in a bubble. A pretend world. A dream. It’s time for me to wake up and return to reality. For both of us to do that.”
“Butyouare my reality, butterfly.”
“I’m a fantasy.” He touches my cheek, and more tears roll down his face. I hate that even while he’s breaking my heart, I can’t help butwant to comfort him. “I’m no good for you, Cade. Bad things follow me everywhere. One day you’ll see. This is for the best.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll never think that, butterfly, because I know you’re what’s best for me. I don’t know what’s sending you running, but I think you believe I’m the best for you, too.”
“You are. I’m not denying that.” His hand falls away from my face, the ghost of it lingering. “This truly isn’t about you. I’m grateful to have met you. So fucking grateful. You’ve made me happier than I’ve ever felt before.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
