“I just knew.” I can’t explain it. As soon as I saw the look on his face, I knew.
She kisses my lips. “Go take care of him.”
I crush her to my chest. “I love you.” I can’t explain how much, not in words anyway. I can’t even explain this feeling of urgency to get back to Ryder.
I just know he needs me.
Now.
Chapter 30
Ryder
Iwalk to Zane’s room on autopilot, like I’m lost in some trance. When I get there, that’s when I start questioning myself. I know I have a submissive streak deep down, but I always hide it behind all the other bullshit. But when Zane got my face downstairs, squeezing the air from my lungs, I couldn’t stop my reaction to him. It was something about his hold, his touch, the sound of his voice that slid over me, calming me. Can I give up all that control to Zane? Holden makes me feel loved; Zane makes me feel protected. I’ve never felt that before. I’m the protector. I never had anyone do that for me in this way. Dex did on missions, but this is different. Bigger. I close my eyes and remember the words he said downstairs.
“This doesn’t make you weak. Don’t hesitate to take what you want or need, and never feel ashamed of that. Do you understand?” Zane looks back into my eyes, and I nod. “Words, Love. Say the words.”
That feeling of calmness washes over me again, just from the pet name that slid off his lips so easily. I make my decision and strip just like he told me to. Sinking to my knees to wait for him just feels right. I refuse to feel ashamed that I need this; I need Zane. My cock is throbbing painfully, standing straight up, begging me to stroke it. Something tells me Zane won’t want me to. Not yet.
I hear the door open and lift my eyes to his face. His eyes findmine, and it’s the softest I’ve ever seen them when he’s looking at me. I can’t explain what’s happening between Zane and me; it’s just a feeling of rightness. He shuts the door behind him before walking toward me. Rubbing his hand down my face to my chin, he pulls my face up to look at him. “Is this still what you need?” He asked me that downstairs, giving me a chance to back out, but my answer is still the same.
“Yes,” I answer breathlessly but proudly.
His eyes soften further. “Good boy.” A shudder rolls through me at that name, making my cock jump in anticipation. It isn’t something I’ve ever thought I’d want, but Ineedhis approval. “You look sexy on your knees for me,” Zane says, pulling me back under his spell. I understand now what Les feels about him and why she needs him in her life. I slowly watch as he undresses, not taking my eyes off him. Stroking a hand up his cock, he walks toward me. “Open, Love.”
I open it immediately, watching his eyes flare with heat. Placing the head of his cock right on the tip of my tongue, he puts his hands on the side of my face, feeding his cock to me slowly. I run my hands up the back of his legs until I reach the back of his thighs and leave them there. I feel a shiver run through him and know he’s just as affected by this turn of events as I am. Feeling him bump the back of my throat, I do what he said to do downstairs, opening my throat for him and causing him to groan deep and loud. “Look at me,” he demands in a rough voice when my nose brushes his pubic bone. My eyes snap to his, and the look he’s giving me makes me groan against the head of his cock. “Fuck,” Zane breathes, sliding back out. “You like sucking my dick?”
“Yes,” I rasp. I’m so turned on that my heart is thumping wildly in my chest, and my cock is dripping pre-cum everywhere.
Zane groans again, reaches down, and jerks me to my feet. Before I can even breathe, his lips are on mine, walking me backward toward his bed. Lips still connected, we get settled on the bed, his body sliding over mine, kissing wildly, running our hands everywhere.
Every time I’ve argued with Zane flashes through my mind, and every one of them points to the same thing. It was fueled by sexualtension on my end, something I couldn’t admit then, but I can now. With the help of my family, I’ve been able to accept every part of myself. Including that I’ve always been attracted to Zane. I just couldn’t say it.
I pull my mouth away, compelled to tell him. He starts kissing down my neck. “I’ve always thought you were sexy as fuck.”
His lips freeze, then he chuckles. Lifting his head to look me in the eye, he says, “I didn’t realize it until I saw you with the guys today, but looking back, I see it.” He pecks my lips. “You’ve always been sexy to me.” My heart flips; my ego swells. He locks his hand back around my throat, squeezing just enough it takes my breath. “I always knew you were submissive too. The way you followed Les around, seeking her approval.” I frown, and he squeezes harder, making my hips grind into his. “What did I say about feeling ashamed?”
“Not to,” I say around his hold on me.
“Good boy,” Zane purrs, loosening his grip. “What you’re feeling right now, Love? I feel it too.” He slides his body against mine again. “It feels like someone has ahold of an invisible string, pulling.” He grinds against me, making my back arch. “Tugging.” He grinds again, making me moan. I want to feel embarrassed by the sound, but it’s too freeing to care. “Goddamn. That noise you make,” Zane groans, confirming what I just thought. Kissing my neck again until he’s beside my ear, he whispers, “I need to feel you. You want my cock, Love?”
“Yes,” I croak, arching into his touch. “Please.”
Zane reaches over, rummaging through his bedside table, coming back with a bottle of lube. I watch him tip it up, squirting it onto his fingers, then gripping his cock in a tight fist. Knocking my legs together, he scoots up until his knees are on either side of my hips, lowering until his ass is right on my cock. Fucking his fist, he grinds down on me, making me gasp as he makes contact. Leaning down, he kisses me hard one more time before knocking my legs back apart, wrapping his hands around the backs of my thighs and pushing my pelvis up. I swallow again, feeling vulnerable as hell in this position.
Zane grabs the base of his cock and starts sliding between my ass cheeks. “Such a pretty ass,” he groans.
“Have you ever been with a guy before?” I gasp when he slides up again.
“No,” he answers, eyes locked on where his cock is. “You’re my first, Love.” That shouldn’t make me feel the way it does, some of the uneasiness ebbs away, and I realize that’s what he’s waiting on. As soon as I relax, he lines up and pushes his hips forward until the head of his cock slides inside of me. “Holy fuck, that’s tight,” he hisses.
With one hand still holding his cock, he pushes my thigh toward my shoulder before moving his hips forward, groaning the whole slow slide into my ass. His hands slam beside my head when his thighs touch mine, his eyes locking with mine. He starts working his hips, pulling in and out slowly, getting used to being inside of a guy. His hips shift, and the head of his cock rubs across my prostate, ripping a deep moan from my chest.
“That’s it, Love,” he breathes, his lips rubbing mine. “Show me how good I make you feel.”
“Fuck, Zane,” I grunt, pushing my hips down to fuck myself on his cock.
He locks his hand around my throat again. “Stop. Moving. You aren’t in control here.”
