“No.” He rolls his eyes. “Your crazy as fuck boyfriend told me I wasn’t allowed to leave the house alone, so I had the ingredients delivered.”
I can’t help but laugh. Without asking, I know that was Gage. “He’s right, you know.”
“I know,” he says, nodding, and then chuckles. “That asshole almost scalded me with hot coffee the day he came here.”
A laugh bubbles out. “What?”
“When he got here,” he starts, taking a sip of his wine before sitting it on the coffee table, taking mine, and sitting it beside his. “I wasn’t good. He bullied me into drinking coffee and taking a shower after he poured my whiskey down the sink.”
“I’m glad he did,” I tell him honestly. Ever since he told me what he was going through, I couldn’t help but feel like shit for leaving him alone. I had my guys; he didn’t have anyone. The one friend I know of was Jay, who turned out to be a sadistic bastard.
“Me too,” Zane admits and then looks at me. “You know that boy isn’t right in the head?”
I laugh because I can hear the humor in Zane’s voice. “I’m well aware. I like him like that.”
He rolls his eyes again. “Of course you do.”
I grin at him, and something in his expression changes. All the humor leaves his face, and in its place is an expression I can’t decipher. It’s answered for me when he slides a hand to cup the side of my face and leans in until his lips almost touch mine, leaving that bit of distance for me to close. “Please let me kiss you now,” he says hoarsely.
I slide my hand up to his face, pressing our lips together.
We shiver at the contact while he splits my lips apart with histongue, massaging mine with his. We made it one hour before his lips were on mine. That’s got to be some sort of record.
He kisses me slowly, letting me get used to his lips on mine again. I forgot what it feels like to kiss him. He kissed me that first day we were grabbed, but that was desperate and quick. This is sweet, unhurried.
I slide my hand down to his chest, over his pounding heart, causing him to groan into my mouth. Ever so slightly, he leans into me, making me lie down on the couch. He rearranges my legs so he can lie between my spread thighs, his body weight on me, his lips never leaving mine.
“Wait. Wait!” I panic, jerking my mouth away.
He sits back on his heels immediately, running his fingers through his hair. “Shit. I’m sorry, Beautiful. I didn’t mean to take it that far.” He goes to step off the couch, and I grab his hand.
“It’s not that.” It wasn’t the kiss; I don’t regret that not since I know where the guys stand. “I can’t be like that.”
He frowns, then I can see the moment he realizes. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to...shit.” He leans down until our lips are inches apart with one hand braced on the arm of the couch behind my head, not putting any weight on me. “I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t stop him.” I can see the torment in his eyes and peck his lips.
“Neither of us could stop him.” I rub my hand down his cheek. “I don’t blame anyone but myself, Zane. I didn’t take the threat seriously.”
He slowly sits up, taking me with him, arranging me back under his arm. “I should have seen something,” he says; it’s almost like he’s talking to himself. “I’ve worked with him for two years and never saw anything.”
I take his other hand in mine. “People like him are good at hiding. I never picked up anything from him but hatred; I would never have thought…” I can’t finish that sentence out loud. Never in a million years did I think something like that would happen to me twice in a lifetime. It just shows me that I got complacent, something I can’t afford to be anymore.
Zane squeezes my hand in his and pulls me even closer. I lay myhead on his chest and just soak in the strength that Zane has always had. Even though it feels good to be back in his arms, I can’t help but feel guilty. My guys understand more than I ever thought they would. Especially Ryder. He’s had the hardest time with all of this, and here I am, away from them with another guy.
But what Zane and I went through can’t be described. Gage got me to admit the one thing that I need, that one thing is Zane. There are several other things, but this is the biggest one.
After being around him for six weeks, even if they were all bad, I didn’t see him for two weeks. Too afraid to reach out to him to ask how he was, too worried about me. I felt like a piece of me was missing; if I was honest with myself, it’s been missing the whole time I’ve been away from Zane after we broke up. I need to decide where it concerns Zane and me; he deserves that. He doesn’t deserve me leading him on if this isn’t what I want.
I take stock of how I feel at this moment. Comfortable. Protected.Safe.I look at him, studying his profile when something settles over me. Taking a deep breath, I pull my hand from his, sliding it up his cheek so I can turn his face back to me. His eyes slam into mine, and I know what to do. Something that will help me figure out if this is right.
Taking a deep breath, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His lips are a breath away from mine, and his breathing immediately speeds up. I tug against him until he starts to lay me back on the couch. “Les, you don’t…”
I silence him with a kiss. “I said he didn’t win, and he didn’t. It’s time for me to take the power back from him.” I kiss his lips again. “Let me take it back.” I love it when any of the guys are pressed against me, their body weight resting on me. It made me feel...safe. Protected. I’ll be damned if he takes that. I’m putting a lot into Zane, letting him show me that I can trust him by giving him this.
Zane slowly settles his weight on me until we’re chest to chest. “Is this okay?” I take a shaky breath and nod. “Let me help you take it back from him,” he whispers against my lips before sealing our lips together. Tears spring in my eyes, and I ignore them. Nothing is going to stop me from taking my life back.
It takes several agonizing minutes of focusing on Zane’s lips moving against mine, his tongue massaging mine, until I feel myself melt into the couch. He never speeds up; he doesn’t rush me and lets me go at my own pace. When he feels me relax, he lowers the bottom half of his body. His hard cock comes in contact with my center through my jeans, and I can’t stop the moan. My hips raise, seeking friction on their own accord. We can’t go any further than this; neither of us is ready for that. But the more I kiss him, the harder it is to pull away.
“We have to stop,” Zane says against my lips, echoing my thoughts, before latching on to my lips again like he can’t get enough. His hips start moving with mine, seeking his friction, and it feels so damn good.
