Chapter 11
Ryder
“Keep your fucking voice down,” Dex growls, shoving me into the garage.
“Are you fucking serious?!” I ask after he shuts the door. “FuckingZaneis in this house, and you’re telling me to keep my voice down?”
Dex levels me with a glare that would make anyone else shit their pants. “When you can calm the hell down, we can talk. Until then, stew in your own shit,” Dex barks, walking back into the house and shutting the door behind him.
I roughly shove my hands through my hair, pacing. I know Zane saved Les; that doesn’t mean I want him here, comforting her like none of us have been able to. She lets us sleep with her at night, sure. But she still wakes up screaming and crying. I’ve lived the past seven years hating him for what he did to Les. I don’t know how to separate that from him being here for her when we can’t.
Taking several calming breaths, I shove back into the house. Dex is waiting on the other side of the door. “You yell one more fucking time, and I will bury you alive in the backyard. Are we clear?”
I roll my shoulders to release some tension and nod; he stares at me for so long that I start getting pissed all over again before he walks toward the living room. Gage and Leo are sitting on the couch,and Gage looks guilty as hell. Holden is sitting on the loveseat, so I sit beside him; something about him always calms me down. Dex folds his big ass into the chair to my left and levels me with a look.
“Yes. Zane’s here. She needed him,” Dex tells me, and I can’t stop the eye roll.
“How the fuck would you know that?” I ask.
“Because she told me,” Gage says quietly, and I jerk my head toward him. Leo grabs his knee and squeezes in support. “She told me she needed him, so I got him. It was fucking bad when I got there.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I growl. “He has no business anywhere near her.”
“You should give a fuck,” Gage retorts, steeling his spine and sitting up. “They went through all that.Together.You don’t know what…” he trails off and takes a deep breath. “You don’t know what they went through. “
“And you do?” I rage. “You should have talked to us first.”
Gage shrugs. “I should have, but you know I don’t always think shit through. She told me to jump; I didn’t even ask how high. I just fucking did it.” He runs his hand through his crazy hair. “When I went in there this morning, she told me some of what happened.”
I can see the war he’s waging with himself by not breaking her confidence by telling us. For once, I’m not going to push for information; I can wait until she’s ready to tell us all. “How bad?” I ask instead.
“Bad,” he whispers. “Zane was there the whole time, too.”
Fucking hell.I don’t even need to ask what he means; I know. We can put the pieces together from that small portion we saw in that video. But that means she went through what we saw a snippet of for six weeks. My stomach drops to my feet; I feel like I’m going to throw up. I feel Holden slide his hand across my back, relaxing me again slightly.
“Tell him what you found at Zane’s apartment,” Leo encourages, giving me a look not to say anything. Six weeks ago, I would have slit his throat for that look. Now, though, I have so much respect for how he stepped up, taking his role with this family seriously. He dealswith Gage’s mood swings in stride, something not everyone can do. Including his mom and then his dad. When Les kicked his dad’s ass to the curb, Gage never heard from him again.
“He was drunk as fuck. Reeked of alcohol. His apartment was a wreck, and he was even worse,” Gage says, looking into my eyes. I can see the torment behind them. “He quit the department but didn’t elaborate.” He scoots to the edge of the chaise, bracing his arms on his thighs. “They need each other, Ryder, whether we want it or not.”
“You should see her right now,” Leo says, blowing a breath out. “It’s the most peaceful I’ve seen her since we got her back.” I drop my head back on the couch. That is not what I want to hear. “She’s been asleep for four hours. No nightmares.”
I sit back up fast. “They’re in the same bed?” I grind out. Are they out of their fucking minds?
“No, dipshit. They’re on her balcony,” Dex answers gruffly. “I’ve checked on them several times. Gage is right. She needs him.”
“This is Zane. Are none of you getting that? Fucking Zane. The same Zane who broke her fucking heart. The same Zane who took advantage of her when she was a teenager,” I argue.
Gage snorts. “Do you think Les would letanyoneknowingly take advantage of her? You’re lying to yourself if you think that.”
“I just want her to be happy again,” Holden says softly. I drop back on the couch, closing my eyes. Every single one of them is against me on this. I can’t let Zane back into her life.
“I can’t do it,” I admit. “I can’t watch her be with him.”
“Did none of this teach you a fucking thing?” Leo says harshly. I lean back up and look at him. His eyes are on fire. “We fought each other every step of the way, and we both almost lost her. You push Zane away? And youwilllose her.”
“This isn’t about what you want, Ryder. Or any of us,” Holden says, and I look at him. “It’s about what she wants. What she needs.”
Deep down, I know that. But everything in me is rebelling against letting him within a hundred feet of her, and knowing he’s upstairs holding her is tearing me to shreds. Long since buried, feelings of losing her to him come roaring to the surface.
