I take it from her and pull it back on. “I know.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I just don’t know if I can do this,” I whisper hoarsely.
“Dex,” she waits until I look into her eyes, “You just did.” She walks closer but doesn’t touch me. “You just trusted me enough to let me take your sight. That means the world to me.”
“How slow are you willing to go, Les? Because eventually, you’ll get bored.”
She shakes her head again. “No, I won’t. I want you, Dex, andthat kiss was just a reminder of how you make me feel. We have already established the boundaries and can move further next time.”
I touch my lips, amazed they were touching hers. “That kiss was everything good I needed.”
Her smile is radiant. “It was for me, too. You’ll get there, Dex.”
She pecks my cheek, leaving the room and giving me a chance to get my shit together. And just like that, the moment is over. I had her hands on me, her lips on mine, and I turned into a fucking coward.
Chapter 23
Leo
Ijust saw Alessa blow someone’s brains out right in front of me. I don’t know how to deal with that. The body itself doesn’t bother me, I notice. It’s the fact I saw her pull the trigger with no remorse on her face. He called her the same name that triggered her the night of the fight, so I know that word means something to her, and it isn’t good.
Can I really do this after seeing the real her?
Someone knocks on the door to my room, and then Gage sticks his head through. “Can I come in?”
I motion him in, and he walks in, shutting the door. It’s like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I haven’t been alone with him since our near kiss, and I don’t know how to act around him anymore.
He sits on the bed beside me. “How ya doing, man?”
I look over at him and give him the truth. “I don’t know.”
“Talk to me about it, then. Work it out.” Can I really talk to him? Attraction and sharing Alessa aside, we don’t know each other. Will he listen without judgment? “Whatever you say stays between us,” he promises like he can read my mind.
“That was hard to watch,” I start. “Not that asshole dying,although that should bother me too, but watching her kill like that without a second thought. That’s not the girl I know.”
“It’s always been the girl you know,” he says gently. “You just didn’t know all of her. Les does what she has to do to protect this family and anyone else she can. Jerry Moretto is a low-life piece of shit who was having kids sell dope for him to other kids.”
“I get that,” I say, standing up from the bed to pace. “I just have to wrap my head around the fact that she’s a killer.”
“A killer who does what she has to do,” Gage says harshly, and I look at him. He’s sitting on the bed with his arms braced on his knees, watching me pace. “This is the life, Leo. Take it or leave it.”
“So that’s it? Accept it, or fuck off?”
He stands up. “That’s exactly how it is. You can’t come in here and expect to change something we’ve known our whole lives.”
“I thought you guys are supposed to protect her,” I scoff. “All I see is you guys standing on the fucking sidelines while she handles everything.” I know the moment that leaves my mouth, I fucked up. Gage’s whole expression changes, and he’s pissed.Fuck.
“She’s the leader of the Italian Mafia. Do you know what that fucking means?” he asks, taking a step forward. He continues, not waiting for an answer. “It means that if people see us doing what she does, it makes her look weak, and more people will come after her. Is that what you want? You want every fucking family coming for her blood just because you can’t handle that your girl is a badass?” By the time he’s done talking, he’s standing in front of me, and I can see that crazy look in his eyes. “You don’t think we would rather tuck her away somewhere safe and do it for her? We would in a fucking heartbeat, but that’s not who Les is. She doesn’t need to be put in an ivory tower; she needs someone to respect and accept her for who she is. If that isn’t you, you need to get the fuck out. Now.”
He walks around me to leave my room, and I reach out, grabbing his arm. “I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him, knowing I will have to suck it up and accept who Alessa is, no matter what.
He grabs where my hand is holding his arm and spins us, so my back is to the door. He pushes in until his chest is pressed against mine, his face inches away. I know it’s meant to be threatening, but Ican’t help my reaction. My breath quickens, and my cock jerks to attention in my jeans.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Gage catches my reaction and steps in closer until our entire bodies are touching, not even a breath separating us. “You like this, don’t you?” he asks. “You like my body pressing into yours.” How did we go from arguing about Alessa to him pressing me against the door? He shifts his hips, and I feel his hard cock rub against mine. My head falls back onto the door with a thud, all the fight leaving my body. “Tell me,” he demands.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?” he demands again, moving his hips and rubbing against me.
