She squeezes both shoulders before she slides her hands to my biceps, down my pecs, and my abs, still never touching my skin. She does this until I only react in a good way, leaning into her touch. I find myself trying to follow her hands wherever they go.
“Are you ready for the next step?” she whispers again, and it’s starting to fucking kill me. My dick is painfully hard, straining against my zipper, begging her to touch me.
“Yes.”
I hear her take a breath. “Take your shirt off.”
I freeze. Touching me through my clothes is one thing; this is different. I would be able to feel her skin on mine, the heat from her touch. Can I do it?
“I won’t push, Dex, but I think we’re in a good place right now.” Her voice still has that soft cadence, reminding me she won’t harm me.
I jerk my shirt over my head before I can rethink it, careful not to dislodge the blindfold.
“I need to push a little harder,” she warns. “You need a safe word. You say the word, and I stop. No questions asked.”
“A safe word?” I croak, alarmed.
“This isn’t about pain, Dex. Just pleasure. I would never do that to you.”
I slow my breathing and think of a safe word. “Peaches.”
“Why peaches?” she asks curiously, and I can hear her moving again.
“Because that’s what you were eating the first time I saw you.”
“Peaches, it is.” I can hear her softly laugh under her breath. “You remember what I was eating?”
“I remember everything about that day. You were wearing a yellow sundress, sitting on that huge swing behind the house, eating peaches straight from a can.”
I was still a street thug for her dad, too young to be in the big boy business but strong enough to fight on the streets. Why she ever paid me any attention at all blew my mind. But once I had her full attention, I knew I could never let this woman go.
“Hm,” she hums. I know she doesn’t remember. I was following a group of other guys in the backyard and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her. She was lost in her little world, staring out over the city. “Are you ready?” she asks.
“Yes,” I rush out. I need her to do something before I run from the room.
“Just breathe, Dex,” she says, pulling me back under her spell.
What the hell is she doing to me?
She starts with light touches again, but the moment her skin touches mine, I tense up so tight my muscles scream in protest, and her hand drops instantly.
“Dex,” she whispers. “Who’s in this room with you?”
“Alessa.” My breathing is harsh, and I feel like a fucking pussy.
“Would I ever hurt you?” she asks, and I can tell she’s close to me, almost touching because that vanilla scent got stronger.
“No,” I answer honestly. Iknowthat. I just need my mind to accept it.
She touches me again, lightly, with just the tips of her fingers. She sweeps them slowly across my back. I can feel her fingers bump over my scars, and I want to hang my head in shame. They should have never gotten the jump on me, but there were five of them and one of me.
“These scars don’t make you weak,” she says, like she’s reading my mind. “I have scars too. Some are visible, and some of them aren’t.” She flattens her palm between my shoulder blades. I focus on the softness of her skin. “Most of them are in my mind.”
“How did you get past that?” I ask hoarsely. She went through something way worse, something I could never imagine, and she functions on mostly normal levels, killing perverts aside.
“I had to push past the walls in my mind.” She runs her hand to my left shoulder. “I had you, Ryder, and Gage to help me through it. I had you guys to remind me that not all guys were bad.” She runs her hand to my right shoulder. “I never truly let my guard down until Leo.” She runs her hand up my neck, fingers combing through my hair. “I only ever trusted you guys, then I found Holden. Then Leo.” She runs her fingers softly through my hair from my forehead back when she moved in front of me. I can reach out right now and crush her body to mine, but it’s like I’m frozen in place. “It was almost like it was meant to be.”
I know she slept with other guys before Leo. She would go for it if they caught her eye, and I always hated it. Hated that it could have been me giving her what she needed. But she never went back for seconds, always one-night stands. Then there was Leo. I knew she was gone the second she said she was letting him take her on a date. I would never get a chance to push past my bullshit and touch her. Kiss her. Hold her.Fuck her.Then Gage told me what she wanted, and everything opened up in front of me again.
