“I can’t protect you if I don’t know where you are,” I point out. It’s my number one job.
“I’m with Gage and Leo.” I can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “Is something wrong?”
Is she serious?“No. Just that you guys disappeared last night and went ghost.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry. We should have let you guys know,” her voice softens. “We just fell asleep.”
I drop my head forward, hanging my head. Fell asleep after doing what? My stomach rolls and acid burns my throat. Did she fuck them? Every vision I have for her and me evaporates before my very eyes.
“I’ll see you later.” I end the call before I say something stupid and lean back in the chair in the living room, staring up at the ceiling.
“Everything good?” Dex asks from his spot in the other chair.
“Yeah. They fell asleep,” I tell him, and even to my ears, I sound bitter as hell. Dex grunts in answer, and I want to punch him in the damn face. “Spit it out.” I know he has something to say.
“They? As in all three of them? Together?” He asks, and I look at his face. He doesn’t look pissed. He just looks thoughtful. I’m definitely going to punch him.
“Yes, asshole. All three of them together.” I swear I’m going to throw up. Visions of Les pressed between them flash through my mind, and I want to stab my fucking eyeballs out.
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing,” he says, and I sit up so fast I make myself half dizzy.
“What the fuck?”
He shrugs. “She deserves to feel good, man.”
“I can make her feel good,” I say harshly. She doesn’t need them to make her feel good. She has me. She’s always had me.
He lifts a scarred brow. “So could I.” He raises a hand when he sees my face change. “Don’t get pissy. Just because you’ve known her the longest doesn’t give you some kind of claim to her.” He stands up. “If you want to get down to it, I was the first one to grow balls and go after her.”
I snort. “You lost those balls, so it’s a moot point.” As soon as it’s out of my mouth, I immediately feel like shit. I know why Dex didn’t continue to go after her, and like an asshole, I just threw it in his face.
He gets that haunted look in his eyes. “Yeah. I did,” he says before walking out of the room.
“Dex,” I say, but he’s already gone then a door slams further into the house.
I sit back in the chair, running my fingers roughly through my hair. This shit with Alessa has me fucked up, making me act out against the wrong people. It isn’t even her fault. It’s mine for burying my feelings for so long and then letting them be known at the wrong time.
“Ryder,” Holden says softly from behind me, and I turn to look at him. “Is she okay?”
I sigh. “Yeah, man. She’s fine.”
“Good,” he says, all the air leaving him in a rush, like knowing that one thing hit a pressure release. I know about his little crush on her. It’s obvious, but is it more?
“They fell asleep at the cabin,” I tell him, testing him to see how he’ll react.
“Oh,” he frowns. “All three of them?” I can feel my eyes starting to cross from that fucking question.
“Yes,” I say gently. I already hurt Dex. The last thing I need to do is hurt Holden. Alessa would shoot me on sight.
“Oh,” he says again, then shrugs. “That’s cool.”
He walks away, leaving me staring at his stooped shoulders. Idon’t even have it in me to yell at him to stand up straight like I usually do.
Does anyone else in this fucking house care besides me that they all spent the night together?
Two hours.
Two fucking hours later, I finally hear the bikes coming up the driveway, then hear all three of them laughing while walking into the house. I don’t look up from my spot in the living room where I’ve been since Holden walked out. I don’t need to see them toknowwhat happened. I’ve gone through every emotion sitting here alone.
