“Whoa,” Gage throws in. “When did you kiss her?”
Dex shrugs. “Years ago.”
Gage grins, and it looks purely evil. “Fantastic.” I could practically see the wheels running in his head. What the hell is he up to?
“How the hell is that fantastic?!” I yell. I can’t help it; he’s pushing every button I have.
“You’ll find out.” He gives me another toothy grin before disappearing from the kitchen.
Dex ambles over to the island before leaning against it. “What’s going on?”
I run my hand through my hair. “I don’t know.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t you think you should figure that out before you bring this onto Les?”
“Fuck.” I throw my arms in the air. “I want her, man.”
“So does Gage, apparently. How is that going to play out?” He tilts his head to the side. “Then there’s Leo.”
“Fuck him,” I say harshly. “He’ll be gone soon.”
Dex chuckles. “Looks like to me he’s right down the hallway where Les wants him.” He pushes off the island. “Because if she wanted him gone, he would be.”
I watch him walk out of the kitchen, leaving me more confused than before Les said we needed to talk.
Why did I have to choose now to come to terms with my fucking feelings? And why the fuck is she kissing Gage? He flirts with her all the time. It’s just how he is, but he’s never shown any interest in her other than that. Or did he, and was I just too blind to see it?
I can’t even pinpoint when I fell in love with her because I’mpretty sure I always have been. I was just too young to understand the feelings; then, one day, I woke up realizing Les was the only girl for me. I found girls to pass the time until Les was ready, but they were always just placeholders if I kept them around for more than a night. It was like an unspoken rule between us that we never brought anyone into the main house since we all had our hideaways for when we just needed time to ourselves.
I wander through the house until I end up in my room. I lay back on my bed, put my arms behind my head, and stare at the ceiling. I have a ton of shit to do today, but I can’t find it in me to leave, knowing Leo is right down the hallway.
Les might be the boss, but we all have certain things we do to help her out, so she isn’t doing it alone.
I find my mind wandering back to both of those kisses and can’t shake the feeling that she is fighting what she’s feeling for me. She was honest with me downstairs and told me she felt what I felt, but she also said the same about Leo and Gage. I think about the moment Gage ran his hands over her hips, trying to imagine what it would be like if we did share, and immediately throw that idea away. I could feel my blood boiling from just the fucking thought. There is no fucking way I can stand by and watch her being touched by someone else or being brought to pleasure by someone else’s hands.
I have never had any complaints when I took a girl to bed, so IknowI could be enough for her. I just have to convince her of that. I just need one time with her, and she would be mine. I can feel it in my very soul that I’m meant to be with Les.
Good people don’t come around often in this life, so you hold onto them for dear life when they do. That’s how we ended up with the team we have. I was convinced she would kill Leo after talking to his brothers, but all that seemed to do was harden her resolve to keep him alive.
I hated Evander and Mateo on principle for what their father did to her, but even I can admit that they didn’t know shit. They were as shocked as Leo that Frankie had Les kidnapped at fucking thirteen years old to teach Luca a lesson. I didn’t get a vibe from them thatthey were being dishonest, so it was even harder for me to get rid of Leo.
I could kill him and deal with her anger. She would eventually get over it. Right? Even as that idea pops up, I dismiss it. She would make my life a living hell if I stepped out of line. I might not always agree with her on some things, like this shit with Leo, but I truly trust Les to lead us in the right direction. I know she doubts herself sometimes, but I wish she could see what I see.
She may be the leader of one of the most ruthless crime families, but she never lost her heart. Her dad was the same way. He ruled with an iron fist when you got out of line; he also tried to save as many innocent people as he could. Luca was like a second father to me. When he died, it was like losing my own. I have a close relationship with my dad, and I can’t imagine life without him. I didn’t want him to retire, but it gave me peace knowing he was no longer in danger all the fucking time.
Sighing, I finally roll off my bed and head toward the stairs. Lying around isn’t getting shit done.
Chapter 8
Holden
I’m just putting some finishing touches on Alessa’s new security when I hear a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I call out.
I hear the door open and don’t look up, thinking it’s probably Ryder. He’s the only one who comes in here to hang out. Then her sweet vanilla scent hits me, and my head whips up and I drop my eyes just as fast. It’s fucking sad that I still can’t even look her in the eyes.
“What are you up to?” she asks, sitting in the chair beside mine. She puts her bare feet on the edge of the desk, and I have to force myself to stop looking at her legs.
