She remained still for the longest time while he held his breath, waiting. Finally, she took it. Her fingers were cold and trembling, and he closed his hand around hers, pulling her toward the settee, where he sat down and tugged her onto his lap.
To his surprise and relief, she snuggled into him and laid her head on his shoulder. Tiny tremors ran through her body, and he rubbed her back. Slowly, she relaxed against him, her breathing evening out, although she continued to sniff.
“Part of me hates ye,” she said.
“That’s definitely not encouraging.”
“Ye couldn’t leave me be, could ye?”
“No.”
“And will ye leave me alone now that ye made me admit that ye were right about everything?”
“No.”
She sighed. “I thought not.”
If anything, he was more determined and believed in her more than ever. He thought he might be falling in love with her, and that was a strange feeling.
“I don’t want to move back to the big house,” she said.
“I’m not asking you to move back to the big house.” Not yet, at least. Even he understood that this would take time. Though he wanted her with him, he wouldn’t push it.
She tilted her head back to look up at him. “Did I misread yer intentions?”
“No. But I won’t push you. If you’re comfortable here, then this is where I will be.”
She raised her brows. “Ye’re moving in with me? Won’t people talk? Won’t ye be needed at the big house?”
He smiled. At least she wasn’t pushing him away and telling him he had to leave or she was moving to Sutherland land. That was a step in the right direction.
“I’m no’ moving in. But make no mistake, I will come here as often as I can get away.”
“Ye mean ye don’t already do that? I feel like ye’re constantly underfoot.”
He chuckled. “That’s nothing compared to what I’ll be like now.”
She looked at him solemnly. “I’m not ceasing my activities with Sutherland. I like what I do, and I like that I’m helping people move toward the wonderful after the horrible.”
He plucked the pins out of her fiery hair and untangled the strands as they fell about her shoulders. “You’re using my words against me.”
“If I’m to believe ye, then everyone has a wonderful after the horrible, and I hope that’s true for the people who come through my home.”
He concentrated on running his fingers through her hair. It was so many different colors, all related to fire. One would think it would be hot to the touch, but it wasn’t. It was cool and smooth and silky. “While I don’t like it because I fear for your safety, I know I can’t stop you from doing something you truly believe in.”
Chapter 22
Cait sighed and rested her head on Iain’s shoulder. She felt like she’d fought a fierce battle and still wasn’t certain whether she was the victor.
She was uncomfortable with the things Iain had forced her to face. She’d believed she’d rebuilt her life. She’d been happy with helping Sutherland and those who came to her for healing. Maybe she was not so much happy as she was content.
Were there times when she was lonely? Yes. But she’d never considered that she could change her circumstances or that she even wanted to. Change was frightening, and she would admit that she was frightened by Iain coming around more often because he wasn’t going to let it go. He was going to force her out of her comfortable life bit by bit until she was vulnerable again.
She started at that thought, never realizing until now that what she’d felt was vulnerability. Could she be blamed for protecting herself from yet more grief? A person could take only so much before breaking. She had broken the day Iain came to tell her that John had died.
Iain shifted, and she realized that she was probably too heavy for him. She made to move, but his arms tightened around her. “No,” he said drowsily. “Stay.” His eyes were half closed, peering at her from beneath his lids.
“I have things to do.”
