Jesse’s eyes flickered up to meet his, and then he immediately slammed them shut.
“Just leave. Please.”
Panic flooded Arthur’s veins. He snatched Jesse’s hand once more.
“Jesse, please, I—”
Jesse tore out of Arthur’s hold. “It’s over, Arthur.”
Arthur’s heart shattered. His knees buckled, his vision becoming hazy, and he placed a hand on the wall to steady himself as spots began to form in front of his eyes. Faintly, he heard the sound of Jesse’s retreating footsteps, but he was too shocked by the certaintyin Jesse’s words to stop the man from leaving. Forcing an inhale, Arthur tried to steady himself, tried to piece his heart back together enough to fight for what he and Jesse had. But he couldn’t.
Oh, God, he hadn’t felt pain like this in over sixteen years.
Slowly, Arthur sank to his knees, his body trembling as he settled on the cold, hard steps. Sitting there, pathetically falling to pieces over a relationship that had only lasted a few short weeks, Arthur’s face began to burn. He knew how silly this would seem to most people. But, then, most people hadn’t had the pleasure of falling for Jesse O’Connor. Arthur had met scores of people in his life, and no one else had ever left such an impression on him within the first minutes of their encounter. Jesse was special. He was kind and intelligent and funny. Reserved while still somehow managing to be bold. Confident in himself, without ever being conceited. Sweet but never overly so. Never saccharine or venturing into the realm of insincerity. Jesse O’Connor wasso manywonderful things. And now, Arthur had managed to lose him.
Burying his head in his hands, Arthur choked back a sob.
He let himself cry, inwardly, for a few very long seconds.
And then he stood. And forced himself to return home.
Chapter Fourteen
Jesse
Jesse slammed the door of his bedroom shut before Giuseppe could try to talk to him. Leaning against it, he sank to the floor, tears spilling out of his eyes the moment he sat. He’d hated every Goddamned second of that interaction with Arthur. He hadn’t wanted to send Arthur home. He hadn’t wanted to tell him that there was no way for the two of them to reconcile. But he couldn’t stomach the thought of putting himself in a position for Arthur to someday hurt him even worse than he was hurting now. Had he let Arthur back into his life, he’d have spent the following weeks or months falling more and more in love with the man, only for Arthur Hughes to continue to snub him or insult him or otherwise make him feel small. And each slight, each rejection of Jesse’s person, would have hurt that much more.
Giuseppe rapped his knuckles on the door. “Jess?” he said. “I told you that I’d shoo him away. Why’d you come out?”
Jesse shrugged even though he knew Giuseppe couldn’t see him.
After a moment, Giuseppe asked, “Do you want some lunch?”
Sniffling, Jesse sat up straighter. He cleared his throat. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Thanks, Giuseppe.”
“Ah, well, I’m cooking something for myself anyway. I’ll make enough for two.”
Jesse smiled a little, but it fell away within two beats of his battered heart.
After Giuseppe left, Jesse shifted his weight and lay on the floorboards, relishing the way the cold hardwood felt through his thin linen shirt, if only because it provided him with something else to focus on for a little while.
Jesse continued to rest there in a state of half slumber, waves of upset occasionally crashing over him in between the minutes of peaceful reprieve, before Giuseppe eventually returned. Giuseppe knocked twice before setting something on the floor.
“Alright, I tried my best to make the corned beef and cabbage you like. I’m not sure if it’s terrible or not, mostly because it’s never not tasted like a bowl of salty, bitter swill to me, but it’s edible. At least, I had a bowl five minutes ago and I’m still standing, so that’s something.”
Jesse snorted a half-hearted laugh and sat up, warmth bubbling up in his chest and soothing some of his lingering heartache. After staggering to his feet, he took a breath and opened the door. Giuseppe was already walking back toward the kitchen.
He said, “I’ll clean up this time, too, but tomorrow morning, I’m sleeping late.”
With a roll of his eyes, Jesse picked up the bowl and took it to the kitchen. Once he sat, Giuseppe came over and squeezed his shoulder.
“Forget him, Jess,” Giuseppe said. “You’re worth more than every penny of his inheritance. And that spot he wants in the fair. He’s thick in the head if he can’t see that.”
Jesse smiled up at him, though the mention of Arthur had brought back a twinge of pain in his chest, one so sharp that Jesse had to fight back a wince.
“Thanks,” Jesse said with a nod.
Giuseppe nodded back and then turned to start cleaning. Jesse scooped up a heap of food with his spoon, and the moment the “salty, bitter swill” touched his tongue, he nearly spat it back into the bowl.
