The end had always been on the horizon, especially as my muscles fatigued more after every season. But this injury had opened my eyes, made me realize I wasn’t ready to call it, though I might not have a choice. I itched to get back on the field, wishing more than anything to be back with my team, help them gain another victory. Since I got injured, I hadn’t even been able to watch a game, too fucking angry to see them out there withoutme.
“Have you thought about telling your family more about your recovery?” Chase said as he put the resistance bands away. I grimaced, unsure what to say. I’d flown home the week after the surgery with Chase by my side but hadn’t bothered to tell everyone I was back. In fact, in the weeks since my injury, I’d barely talked to any of my friends. As much as they wanted to help, their pitying stares and empty reassurances only made me angrier. No, it was easier to keep everyone away, at least until I could face them without bitterness overwhelming me. The guys all gave me space.
Mari and Angie came around every couple of days to check in and help me tidy up around the house. They’d even brought the girls around a few times. My family tried to lift my spirits, tried to tell me how far I‘d already come. But their hope was like an anchor around my neck, reminding me how far I’d fallen.
And then, there was Brianna.
Her last text sat on my phone, waiting for a response, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t show her this new version of myself. She’d liked me because I was strong, because I’d helped to lift her up when her world seemed like it was crumbling. To bring her down into my darkness was a step back, like I was dragging her into this pit with me after all the progress she’d made. No way I’d ever do that.
I loved her too much for that.
Every day, I woke up and reached out, hoping I’d imagined the past month, that she was in the bed next to me. When my fingers stretched and found her space empty, the disappointment dragged me right back to that hospital room, after I told her I needed space. Her hazel eyes were filled with so much hurt, I almost pulled the words right back. An ache ripped through my chest, and it had only grown bigger each day.
But despite the pain, I refused to drag her down with me.
Chase leaned down, helping me get back into my knee brace, and held out his hand. Another thing I couldn’t fucking do on my own: get up off my damn floor. After he helped me lower into a chair, he rubbed the back of his neck. “You should think about it, Damien. Check out the research on recovery. Having people in your corner, having that support you need? It’s going to make the entire process a lot more manageable.”
I just grunted, unable to voice my fears aloud. Luckily, a knock came from the door of my apartment. “Get that, would you?”
Chase just nodded, not sparing a second glance my way. He was getting frustrated? Join the fucking club. My hands clenched; I hated that this was my life. I slammed my palm against the arm of the chair, needing that jolt of pain to feel anything other than the throbbing of my knee.
“Shit, D. What the hell did that chair do to you?”
My head popped up, finding my former teammate, Jace, standing in the doorway with a smirk on his face. A duffel bag hung from his shoulder, and he’d dressed casually, like he’d just popped by after hitting the gym. I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here, Lyons?”
“Checking on your grumpy ass.” He smirked. “Seda and Drobrek called, told me you’ve been hiding out, keeping Chase captive.” He stepped inside the room, pausing when he got close to me. “It smells like the damn locker room in here.”
“Yeah, fucking leg raises almost knocked me out. Pretty pathetic, right?”
“Three weeks after major surgery? That sounds like progressto me.”
“Right.” I scoffed. “That’s what Chase keeps telling me.”
When I finally looked over at Jace, I sucked in a sharp breath. It’d been months since we’d stood in the same room, and the time had been good to him. He’d put on weight, looking more like when he first joined the team. That lingering tiredness was gone from his eyes, replaced by the same cocky smile.
I shook my head. “Still haven’t said what you’re doing here.”
“I’m here to help,” Jace said, dropping his bag in the doorway and taking a seat on the floor across from me. “You want to get better? I’m here to make sure that happens. Might not have a degree, but I’ve been through enough PT to know how to do basic stretches.”
“Got Chase for that.”
“You and I both know the team needs him more.” Jace leaned forward. “Besides, even if Chase was here all day, he’d never get to the real problem.”
I shook my head. “What about your team?”
“Our season’s over, so I’m off for a bit. Told them I needed to go visit some old friends.”
“Well, as good as it is to see you, I don’t need a babysitter. Tell Seda and Drobrek to fuck off, would you?”
I huffed, pushing myself out of the chair and grabbing my crutches to stabilize me. Before I got too far, Jace stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Get out of my way, Jace.”
“Nope.”
I cursed under my breath. “Jace, just fucking move. I don’t need this shit. Get out of my way.”
“No,” Jace said, more sternly this time. “When my world fell apart, you were the only one who stood by myside, the one who forced me to take a hard look at my life. Without you, fuck, I don’t know where I’d be right now. So, no. I’m not going anywhere, D.”
All the bravado poured out of me as I stared up at my friend, not knowing how much I needed someone before this moment. As the fight left me, I lowered myself back to the chair and dropped my head into my hands, letting my crutches fall to the floor.
