And what if this were a date? Would she be against it if I pushed? At this point, we knew each other’s bodies as well as our own, and I’d spent more time with her than anyone else in years. Fuck it. I replayed Parker’s words in my head, and I stopped holding back.
I leaned forward on my elbows, leaning in toward her. “Thought this wasn’t a date, Bri?” Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. But before she could retract her statement, I reached out and took her hand. “But if you want to make this our first date, I’d be all for it.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what we do, Damien. We have rules?—”
“Thatwemade, Bri. They can change whenever we want. You want to go on a date? I’d drop everything to take you on one.”
She studied me for a moment, and I waited for the rejection, waited for her to shut it down. Instead, her eyes just softened. “This can be our first date.”
“Yeah?”
She blushed and ducked her head. “This is perfect for me. I’m not big on fancy meals or nights out. Just give me good food, nature, and great company, and I’m a lucky girl.”
“Noted,” I said, unable to hide my grin. With anyone else, this would seem like nothing, but getting Brianna to admit this was more than sex was like overcoming insurmountable odds, the same as winning a marathon or climbing a high peak. “So, now that we established this is a date, what should we talk about?”
Brianna shrugged. “What do you want to know?”
A familiar question tugged at the back of my mind, and I couldn’t hold it back any longer. “Tell me about your ex.”
The color drained from her face as she ducked her chin to her chest, the happiness fleeing herexpression. “Why?”
“Call it curiosity,” I said, trying to keep my tone as casual as possible. “Might explain more about you.”
Brianna sighed, wiping the tips of her fingers on her napkin. “We were together for a long time. We met right during freshman year of college, and everything seemed just…easy between us. I thought it was because we were so connected, but looking back, it was more because I gave in so much, molded my life around his. Now, when I think about our time together, sure, there were a lot of happy memories I want to hold on to, but there’s also a lot more loneliness. He never saw the real me, and when I grew up and stood my ground, he didn’t handle it well.” She paused, tapping her fork on her plate. “When we first split, the idea of repeating that pattern with anyone else scared the hell out of me, of giving someone else the power to break me like that…” She shrugged her shoulders. “Honestly, it still scares me.”
“I get that,” I admitted, tucking my elbows onto the table. “I was engaged a few years ago.”
Brianna’s eyes widened as she stared at me. “I’m sorry, Damien.”
“Don’t be,” I said. “Sure, it hurt like hell, and it’s probably why I haven’t wanted anything real since then. But lately, I’ve been wondering if she made the right move.”
“Can I—” Brianna chewed on her lower lip. “Can I ask what happened?”
“Too devoted to the team, gone too often, all the things I should’ve noticed before she walked out the door. Talia, she’s a good person, but we weren’t right together. Instead of supporting each other, we got resentful, and instead of addressing the cracks in our relationship, we grew apart. Honestly, we would’ve ended no matter what, so I’ma little grateful Talia walked away when she did. I would’ve kept going, and who knows what might have happened.”
“You could’ve walked down the aisle and then found yourself in the same position, only now, you’d have wasted almost a decade of your life with nothing to show for it.”
I reached out and took Brianna’s hand. She stared at my hand on top of hers, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d crossed the line. Instead, she twisted her hand to intertwine our fingers. Shit, they fit together perfectly. Had we ever touched outside of our apartments? Probably not, but I liked it—too much. I liked holding her hand when she was hurting, liked to be the one offering her the support.
“You can’t go back and erase the past, Bri. It hurts, and you need to let yourself feel that hurt, but don’t let it define you.” I squeezed her fingers. “You’ve got too much heart to hide it away.”
The corners of her lips turned up. “You seem so sure. I might be a horrible person.”
“Not a chance,” I said, leaning closer to her. “Besides, we know each other a lot more than you realize.”
“How so?”
“I know what you like in the bedroom, what you look like when you fall apart.”
Brianna’s cheeks flushed as she shook her head. “That doesn’t mean anything, Damien. You don’t know my middle name, or my favorite color, or anything else like that.”
“Maybe not.” I leaned back and started ticking things off on my fingers. “But I know you’re smart, too damn smart, and it intimidates some people around you. I know how your face lights up when you read a spicy scene in one of your books, how you chew on your lower lip when something romantic happens. That you like to make otherscomfortable because you’ve been the one on the outside of the circle. I mean, hell, Auggie hasn’t stopped talking about you for weeks. You connected more with the guy in one night than the rest of us have all season.” I paused, searching her widening hazel eyes. “And look at the day we met. You busted your ass for weeks because you wanted to help your friend. You spent the entire day baking in the sun because it gave your students joy. I might not know the little details, Bri, but I see you, see your heart. So listen to me when I say when you decide to give it to someone, they’re going to be the luckiest bastard on the planet.”
TWENTY-FIVE
I stared at Damien, trying to ignore my racing pulse. His dark eyes bore through me, as if he saw how quickly my heart fluttered in my chest. We’d spent less than a month together, and yet, with just a few words, he proved how well he knew me.
My eyes darted down to my plate, where my toppings had slipped off my tacos and into the cardboard box. Picking up my fork, I ignored the words flashing through my mind, questions about whether Damien wanted to be that guy for me. He’d gotten me to admit this was a date, and as much as it scared me, I was glad we were here. At least, until he turned my world around by pointing out everything I tried to hide close to my chest.
