“Did you enjoy dinner?” my sister asked as she grabbed the plate from her guest.
“Oh yes, everything was delicious,” she said. “I haven’t had a home cooked meal since I moved.”
Glancing across the table, my date’s eyes met mine, and she blushed, staring back down at her food. Shit; what the hell was her name? Fuck, Mel was right—I’d crossed into asshole territory.Gemma.Nice girl, the kind of woman I wouldn’t mind spending more time with normally. Sheworked with Mari at the veterinary clinic as an assistant and had just moved into town. She was smart, witty, and my nieces all seemed to love her. But as we spoke, there wasn’t a connection, no spark between us.
Unlike Brianna.
Fuck. I ran my hand over my face, trying to push the picture of her from my mind. It should have been easy; I’d done it plenty of times before. Maybe it was shitty of me, but there was a long list of women I’d left alone in their beds, barely thinking about them after I left. It was different with Brianna. I couldn’t forget the sight of her pleasure; it was etched in my memory from the night we spent together. Every time I tried to block it, she popped up again, stronger than before. Maybe it was a good thing Melanie banned me from all women and clubs after the all-star game. I needed to get my head together.
“Damien?” Mari called from the head of the table. “Can you help me with dessert please?”
All my nieces cheered as we stood, unaware of the glares Mari and I shot at each other. At least the promise of sugar would help the awkwardness of the night. Knowing my sister, she’d made her signature flancocho cake. It was an update of our grandmother’s classic flan recipe, but my sister had put her own twist on it, interweaving the classic dish with moist layers of vanilla cake. We all loved it, especially the girls. It was one of the few indulgences I allowed myself during the season.
As Mari pulled me into the kitchen, she kept up her usual jovial smile, but as soon as we were out of everyone’s eye-line, she gave me a hard pinch on the underside of my arm.
“Shit, Mari,” I snapped. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong withyou?” Mylittle sister glared at me as she walked further into the kitchen. She mumbled something under her breath as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out the cake. “I set you up with a nice girl—tell her all about my charming,very single, big brother, and you show up like that? Like a robot has drained all your personality?”
“If you’d told me about this blind date?—”
“Don’t feed me lies,” my sister bit out. “If I told you about Gemma, you would have found a way out of it. Claimed some practice ran over or another excuse.”
Okay, she had me there.
“I’ve told you, Mari. It’s not her. I’m not interested in dating anyone.” As she pulled the knife out of the drawer and placed it on the tray next to the cake, I hugged her. “Why is this so important to you?”
She sighed and dropped her head onto my shoulder. “You’ve given up so much already, brother. First for baseball, then for me. I want you to be happy too.” She turned in my arms, looking up at me. “Tell me the truth. Don’t you feel it? That missing piece inside your heart?”
I studied her eyes, the ones that almost completely matched mine. If people didn’t already know we were siblings, it wasn’t hard to figure out. We had the same tanned skin tone, the same tilt to our smiles, but the eyes gave it away the most.
And right now, the concern reflected in them almost made my knees buckle.
Exhaling sharply, I weighed her words. If she’d asked me months ago, my answer would have been a flat no. Though my engagement fell apart, my life never seemed lacking, even if there were a lot of lonely moments.
But lately, the voice in the back of my mind had me questioning my own rules. Maybe it was Brianna, maybeit was Mel calling me out on my shit. Either way, I’d stopped going out and looking for something temporary over the last couple weeks. Did that mean I wanted more? Wanted to be in a relationship?
Did I even know how?
Even if I wanted to be with someone, my schedule would always be an issue. Baseball came first. There wasn’t any other option. I refused to let my focus flounder, refused to coast into retirement and obscurity. I’d worked too damn hard to settle for that life.
Instead of giving Mari empty promises, I held her a little tighter. “You know I’m your big brother, right? I’m supposed to be the one worrying about you.”
“Please,” Mari snorted. “The only thing you have to worry about are the girls destroying every inch of this house. Carmen figured out how to undo all the child locks and decided to paint a masterpiece for the twins on their bedroom wall.”
I shook my head. “And that’s what you want for me? The chaos you have to experience every day?”
“If you want that, D, then yes. I’m not saying have kids, because we both know it's not the right path for everyone, but I want you to have a family, someone you can confide in when life gets too heavy.”
“I have you, Mari.”
She shook her head. “And you always will. But it's not the same as what I have with Angie. She’s my person—the one I can lean on when life gets heavy, but who also shares in all our joy. It’s not just having someone, it’s finding that other half of you, the person who makes your life better, even when it’s falling apart.” She pulled back and searched my gaze. “You give everything your all, Damien. Me, the kids,especially baseball. Don’t you think you deserve someone who will do the same thing for you?”
My throat tightened at her words, unable to respond. For so long, the idea of opening myself up terrified me, sure it would be another failure. But maybe Mari was right. Maybe after years of hiding myself in one-night stands and baseball commitments, it was time to step out of my comfort zone and try for something more.
“Mi vida?” Angie called out, breaking the moment between my sister and me. When she rounded the corner and spotted us hugging, she smiled. “Oh good. You had us worried there for a minute. I thought I was going to find you two fighting.”
“No fighting.” I sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of my little sister’s head. “But no more set-ups either. I promise, Mari, when I’m ready to settle down, you’ll be the first one I call.”
