Her green eyes met mine, and I could read what she refused to say.Like Jace. As much as I tried to bury the guilt about my former teammate’s fate, it still came to the surface every time his name cameup. There was so much more I could have done for him, if only I’d noticed the signs of his downfall sooner.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, Mel, I hear you. No more parading my one-night stands on social media.”
She nodded. “That’s a start. But I think we need to work on toning down your image in more ways than just that.”
“I’m going to hate this, aren’t I?”
ELEVEN
Summer always brought with it a little guilt. My career was one of very few that provided ten weeks off during the warmer months, but it didn’t stop my overactive brain from latching on to a project. In the past, I threw myself into schoolwork, trying to come up with new ways to differentiate the curriculum and familiarize myself with my new students’ plans and data.
But for the first time since I started, I forced myself to take a break—to give myself the first half of July before jumping back into planning mode. Since returning from Dallas last week, the days blurred together, a wash of walks through the city, trips to the farmer’s market, and spending the nights curled up around my Kindle.
Not to mention—avoid Damien Ramos.
Normally, that would be an easy feat. It wasn’t like my world intersected with professional baseball players regularly. At least, it didn’t before I moved in with Ollie. But with her business and friendship with Parker Drobrek, the third baseman on the Hawks, the guys cameover all the time. Either that, or she spent her nights cheering them on in the outfield with the rest of our friends.
Every time she left the house, she begged me to join them, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. As much as I wanted to forget about my night with Damien, it was impossible, especially when his memory crept into my dreams every night. No, there was no telling what I would do if I spent more time around Damien. It was a toss-up between embarrassing myself like a nerdy schoolgirl with an overwhelming crush or begging him to fuck me again.
Nope. Not going to happen. My life was safe—albeit a little boring—but at least there was no room for further heartbreak. Spending time with Damien proved I didn’t have the disposition for one-night stands; my tender little heart latched on to that comfort and clung to it with all its might. It was safer to keep myself guarded, to go back to my insular world and enjoy the relaxation.
But by the next weekend, Ollie had had enough.
As I laid in bed, my hair in a bun and my favorite cactus pajamas on, she burst through my door, chucking a dress on my bed. “Put this on.”
I looked up at her and shook my head. “Are you insane? It’s after ten.”
“Please, grandma.” She scoffed, plopping into bed next to me. “Most of the bars downtown are just filling up. No one gets there until at least eleven.”
“In your twenties,” I laughed, tugging my comforter back over my shoulder. “Leave me be. I’m like that aging gazelle at the back of the pack. Let the lions eat me and run free.”
“Nope.” Ollie ripped the blanket back from me. “The only thing eating you tonight is a hot-blooded man if youplay your cards right. Like that guy you did not hook up with in Dallas.”
My cheeks heated at her words, trying to keep the guilt off my face. Despite my insistence nothing happened in Dallas, Ollie refused to let it go until I reluctantly admitted I went home with someone. The only saving grace was that she didn’t know it was Damien. She might have suspected we hooked up, but she never said the words aloud. Thank goodness, because lying to her about a nameless man was one thing, but denying Damien all together was more than my moral compass could take. As she stared at me, I shook my head. “I told you—that was a one-night thing. My first, and only, one-night stand.”
“Ugh,” Ollie sighed as she stood. “That’s such a waste. You’re too hot to waste all your nights tucked into bed alone. You need to find a man who fucks like a God and then milk him for every orgasm he’s worth.”
I chuckled, diving back into the book on my e-reader. I tried that plan, and it failed spectacularly. From now on, the only men I wanted to obsess over were fictional. They turned you on, said all the right things, and you never had to worry about miscommunication or insecurities. Ollie ripped it out of my hand, reading over the section I had just breezed through. “Brianna Sideris! Are you reading porn?”
“No!” I shrieked as I pulled it back. “Don’t defile romance books with the wordporn. It’s smut, if you must know.”
“Smut where three baseball players are sharing one girl?” She smirked. “And here I was, thinking we were opening your eyes to all these new experiences. Who knew a little skank was hiding underneath those cardigans?”
“What’s wrong with my cardigans?”
“Nothing,” Ollie said a little too quickly. She stole my e-reader once again and climbed out of my bed, holding it behind her back. “Okay, tough love. You’ve been hiding out for almost a week, and it’s getting a little too Gray Gardens for my taste. The whole hook-up thing threw you for a loop, but you can’t let that scare you away from any new experiences.” She tossed the e-reader back to me. “Also, I’m a needy bitch and want you to hang out with me. So if you don’t want to go out, fine, but you are leaving this room and spending some time with your roommate.”
My cheeks burned as my eyes darted down. Was that what I’d been doing? Being alone was normal for me, especially the last few years. Even when Todd was home, it wasn’t like he spent a lot of time with me. My friends were great, but a small part of me always wondered if it was more because of pity than genuine friendship. At least, until Ollie stormed in here.
Climbing out of bed, I walked over to Ollie and pulled her into a hug. Her short blonde bob knocked into my nose, but I held tight. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “It wasn’t personal. I’ve been alone for a long time, so sometimes, I become a bit of a hermit.”
“I get it,” Ollie said as she pulled back. “But you’re not alone, Bri. Not anymore. You don’t have to explain if you want some space, but I’m always going to come check up on you, pull you out of your comfort zone if you’ve been burrowing a little too long.”
The earnest look in her eyes made my heart swell. It might have taken my entire life imploding, but at least I’d walked away with better friends, people who were in my corner, even when I didn’t realize it. “Thanks, Ollie.”
“Always, Bri. But…” She smirked, leaning down to pick up the dress from my bed. “If you want to make it up to me—bemy wing woman tonight. See if we can make some new friends?”
“No promises,” I chuckled as I took the dress from her. “But I’ll at least keep you company.”
