If I’m going to stay here for any length of time—in this town or where this woman’s energy can reach me—then I’m going to have to accept that.
“You never feel out of control because you just embrace the chaos?” I ask her. “I mean, youcreatechaos. Does that help you feel more in control somehow?”
I need to know this. Maybe I can learn something here that will make things feel less tumultuous when I leave Rebel. Because, honestly, while I’m here, I have no chance of escaping the mayhem. I’ll just have to hold on and let Nora drive this bus.
“I wouldn’t say I embrace chaos,” she says. “I just always keep my goal in mind.”
“Having fun.”
She lifts a shoulder. “Enjoying the moment. Being present in the right now. Making the moment the best it can be for the people around me. That keeps things simple. Sure, things might get a little loud or tumultuous around me, but if I focus on what I really want, then it keeps me clear. If I go to bed at the end of the day and can think of one person whose day was better because of me, then I succeeded and the rest is just noise.”
I study her. It sounds very simplistic and idealistic, but I don’t think Nora is naïve. She knows bad things happen. She just tries to be one of the good things that happen to people.
And she actuallyenjoysthe things she does for others. Including Not Really Movie Night and Definitely Not ReallyHockey. I can only imagine what Not Actually Otter Club actually is.
She’s just so fuckingcutewhen she’s putting together a plan and then watching it go off the rails.
She reminds me of a kid setting up dominoes just to knock them over. Or a cat gracefully walking across a table, weaving and stepping carefully, only to get to that one full glass…that she tips right off the edge.
Sure, it might all be planned to happen that way, but it still results in a mess.
Jesus. How can I be so attracted to someone who not only doesn’t get bothered over chaos, but often causes it?
But I am.
It’s more than physical attraction. Something that pulls me closer as a voice in my head whispers,What if you let her mess up your life a little? Would that really be so bad?
Looking at all of these people tonight, thinking about all of the people I’ve met here, all of the people who interact with Nora on a regular basis—my sister included—is there a single one who feels like she’s actually messing anything up?
I almost laugh out loud at that thought.
No. Nora makes people happy.
With intention.
Even bypassing her own favorite movie to make everyone else who shows up here feel like what they enjoy matters to her.
I don’t know if Ishouldlet her mess up my life a little while I’m here, but I’m not sure I can avoid it.
CHAPTER 17
NORA
Alex Olsen is surprising.I probably should have explained movie night to him more clearly. Or at all. It’s just that we’ve been doing it this way for so long, I don’t always remember that it’s odd to have a movie night and not watch the movie together.
Still, he’s mostly just rolling with it. Oh, sure, he’scommentingon it. To me. I think he can’t not point out to me howIkeep surprising him. Because I don’t think he knows if he hates it, or if he doesn’t really mind it, or if just maybe he kind of likes it.
I can’t help but smile. I don’t think Alex is used to being out of his comfort zone. I think his comfort zone is huge, and I think a lot of people have spent a lot of time, and maybe even money, keeping itverycomfortable.
But I like him off-balance.
Yes, he was clearly in his element at the Italian Barrel the other night, and he’s sexy when he’s confident and in control.
But he’s sweet and…something else…when he’s befuddled.
He’s…real.
That’s what it is. I like confident Alex, for sure, but I like this real side of him. Not the professional hockey player who knowshe’s a star. Not the guy in the magazine. Not even the guy who knows all about sixty-nine-dollar cheese plates.
