“Seriously, you know Jesse is going to go tell Donna that you’re considering a date with her nephew, and Donna will get all worked up and will invite her six nephews to town for something, and you’ll have to meet them along with Becky and LeAnn’s nephews. Between the two of them, I think they have like ten,” Andi says. “There will be an absolute harem of men for you.” She gets a sly smile on her face. “Maybe that’s what you should do. Have like eight boyfriends. Surely, they can rotate who’s out of town at any one time, and the rest can take care of you while he’s gone. You won’t even notice one or two missing.”
“Stop it,” I say, laughing. I push the register drawer shut. “You make it sound like everyone wants to marry me off.”
“They do!” Andi, Thea, and Everly say in unison.
We all laugh.
“You’re the most eligible bachelorette in the parish!” Everly says.
“And you’re number two,” Andi tells her. She lifts her tea again. “If you want to avoid all of that, you need to let me coach you in bitter-eccentric-witchy-divorcee vibes.”
Andi is gorgeous and intimidating as hell. She’s four years older than me and seven years older than Everly. She feels like an older sister in many ways. Mostly in her advice about men and romance. Which is to not fall for any romance bullshit and not believe anything any man says.
She’s been divorced for two years since her husband cheated with a mutual friend. She’s not actually a witch but is definitely bitter. She’s also an artist, teaches art classes, and does anything “artsy” the Parks and Rec department needs, including designing the new hockey teams’ mascots.
She has also decided to let all of her suppressed artistic flair—suppressed by her asshole ex—spill all over her house, the only place she’s ever lived alone and called her own. The house is a little cabin down by the bayou. It’s hard to get to, and she doesn’t like having visitors. She never invites anyone but me, Sutton, and Everly out there, and in public talks about curses and hexes. She’s going for a ‘swamp witch’ reputation. I’m not sure it’s working, but I do know thatno onehas tried to set her up, and she’s ecstatic about that.
Everly, on the other hand, is sweet, funny, and beautiful. She does landscaping for a living and is responsible for all of the beautiful public spaces in town—we work closely together—and people definitely love her. Would everyone who wants me to marry their nephews be just as thrilled to have Everly in their family? Absolutely.
“You know I’m into the witchy stuff,” Everly tells her. “Totally into potions.”
She’s actually into plants and flowers and how they can be made into perfumes and teas. But sure, we can call them ‘potions’.
“You’d be a good witch,” Andi says. “And I don’t mean that as a compliment. You’d be a good witch, versus a bad one.”
Everly laughs. “Well, I’ll come live in your cabin with you and balance out your evil impulses.”
“Nope,” Andi says. “Love you, but that house and those impulses areallmine. And Merlin’s.”
Merlin is her cat. He’s, of course, black. He’s also nothing but a big floof who seeks out and gets comfortable on the nearest lap, no matter who it belongs to. He’s the goofiest, sweetest animal I know. And considering Andi is painting her ‘swamp witch house’ mostly pink, I think asking Merlin to be a scary witch cat is just confusing him.
Not that anyone in town knows her lair is pink and other pastel colors. She has a long, winding lane up to the front of the house, so even the postman and other delivery people don’t know what the house looks like.
I brace my hands on the counter and lean in. “I have to tell you something about Alex,” I say in a hushed voice.
“And we’re back to the hot and dirty part of the day,” Andi says.
Everly laughs, but I shake my head. “No. Not like that. Gardening club and then a mad dash to the airport. Dirty and sweaty from work and panic.”
“But you’re worried about him,” Andi says.
“Of course I’m worried about him. I don’t want him scared off! We need him. I went to the airport to save him from being kidnapped!”
Andi nods. “Okay. Well, yeah, he seemed awkward stepping into a café full of people who don’t really want him here.”
“Yes, and he’s not supposed to know that,” I say with a frown, straightening. Obviously, Leo, Brewser, and Wilson didn’t give a great first impression, but I thought the rest of the town would behave.
I should have known better.
“It was Bruce’s fault,” Everly says, pointing towards the cash register.
I know she’s pointing at today’s straw poll.
“That was here when Alex showed up?” Thea asks.
“Yes,” I say.
“Oh my God,” Thea mutters.
