After, we lie together, completely spent, for nearly twenty minutes without saying anything. My head is tucked under his chin, he has one hand on my ass, the other is stroking up and down my back. I have one leg draped over his, my hand on his stomach. We’re pressed together, touching everywhere we can.
I know that when he gets up and leaves, even if he makes other stops in town before heading to the airport, this is goodbye for us.
Finally, he speaks. “Would you come to Portland? To visit me?”
Oh, God.
I wasn’t expecting him to invite me to Portland. It’s not the same as being asked to move there with him, of course, but I’ve given no thought to this at all. Of course, he wasn’t supposed to be going to Portland so soon either. And I suppose that I thought by April… I don’t know what I thought would happen by April. I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. He just got here.
So how can I have feelings like this for him? It’s too fast. It’s been a whirlwind. He’s only just started to settle in. And who knows if his good feelings about Rebel even would’ve lasted?
“I don’t know, maybe,” I say very noncommittally. “I am really busy. We have so many holidays coming up. And there’s always… stuff.”
That sounds completely pathetic.
He’s quiet for a long moment, then nods. “Yeah, of course. I get it.”
Thing is, I know he does get it. He understands my town, my family. Me.
He just got here, but he’s had a full dose of what my life is like.
“I should get going,” he says. “I really do want to say goodbye to some people, and I have to get on that plane.”
He does. I know that. Of course he does.
“Good luck,” I tell him as he sits up, disentangling our body parts. I swallow, hoping to keep my voice from sounding scratchy. “I hope Portland is everything that you want it to be.” I mean that with all my heart. I want Alex to be happy.
I start to sit up, but he puts his hand against my chest. “Will you stay? Just here in bed like this? This is how I would love to remember you.”
That sucks the air out of my lungs. He wants to remember me. That definitely sounds like I’m not going to see him again. But I still nod. “Okay.”
He looks like he wants to say something else, but instead he bends and kisses me. Then he pushes up and gets dressed.
He stops in my bedroom doorway and looks back. “This was…amazing,” he says. “And I don’t mean just now. Notjustjust now. All of this. You. Rebel.”
I know what he means. I give him a smile. “I’m glad.” I swallow. “Take care of yourself, Alex. Please.”
He just nods, then turns and leaves.
CHAPTER 30
ALEX
I did not expectthe goodbye with Nora to go that way, but I regret nothing. All it means is that I am going to see all my teammates at Perks and Rec together, instead of stopping by to see each one individually.
But hell, that might be easier. Telling them goodbye as a group might be less emotional than one-on-one. Of course, I mean emotional for me. I don’t expect any of them to be too broken up about it. I am definitely the one who’s gotten attached. And as surprised as I am by how quickly that happened, I won’t deny it.
I am going to miss these people.
I feel like I’m just getting to the point where I feel like I get it. That I might understand how I can fit here.
And that maybe ending up in small-town Louisiana playing bonkers hockey is not at all the worst thing that could have happened to me.
I walk through the door, now anticipating not only the tinkling bell but also the entire establishment turning to look at me.
This time, however, there is a chorus of, “Alex!” as the door shuts behind me.
I smile. “Hi, everyone.”
